for my (single) ladies...enjoy! ;)
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Inspiring Words
7 years ago
Showing posts with label singledom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singledom. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
"It's Complicated"
so, i, the long-term happily single one, has decided being "in like" sucks. i mean, think about it, being "in like" complicates everything. well, not everything (oh, stop, you know me, i'm prone to exaggeration), but a lot. for example...
...you spend all of your (previously) free time trying to figure out if s/he likes you, how much s/he likes you, how much longer before you give up the goodies, if you should offer to pay for tonight's date, if you should tell her/him that you really don't care for soy lattes, in fact, you're okay with consuming cow's milk in several varieties (therefore soy dream ice cream is unnecessary), wondering when you'll be introduced to her/his friends, if it's okay to mark your territory at her/his apartment, how to tell the cutie at the gym/grocer/school you're taken (wait, are you?!), trying to decipher what "dating exclusively" and other bullshit terms mean...i digress...
i mean, REALLY?! i'm calling bullshit. it's overrated.
boogie...longing for the simpler life (and taking suggestions on how to get it back)
...you spend all of your (previously) free time trying to figure out if s/he likes you, how much s/he likes you, how much longer before you give up the goodies, if you should offer to pay for tonight's date, if you should tell her/him that you really don't care for soy lattes, in fact, you're okay with consuming cow's milk in several varieties (therefore soy dream ice cream is unnecessary), wondering when you'll be introduced to her/his friends, if it's okay to mark your territory at her/his apartment, how to tell the cutie at the gym/grocer/school you're taken (wait, are you?!), trying to decipher what "dating exclusively" and other bullshit terms mean...i digress...
i mean, REALLY?! i'm calling bullshit. it's overrated.
boogie...longing for the simpler life (and taking suggestions on how to get it back)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, September 10, 2009
TOTALLY RANDOM: the small joys of being single
cereal, chips-n-salsa or maybe a nectarine with a glass of wine for dinner. hell, why not all four?
combine that with no one asking you, "hey, can you pick something up? what are we having? should we go out for dinner?"
howabout being FLYY as hell and doing it for ya damn self?
ok, ok, one more...having unlimited options of who you spend your time with: him? nah, him...no wait, him. eh, maybe the girls. no wait, i don't want to see a damn person. ;)
anywho, i just had a moment.
lata, loves!
combine that with no one asking you, "hey, can you pick something up? what are we having? should we go out for dinner?"
howabout being FLYY as hell and doing it for ya damn self?
ok, ok, one more...having unlimited options of who you spend your time with: him? nah, him...no wait, him. eh, maybe the girls. no wait, i don't want to see a damn person. ;)
anywho, i just had a moment.
lata, loves!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Real Talk PSA: Don't Front on the Sexy IT Guy
Sure, he may own one too many polo shirts, but ladies please don't hate on the hidden sexy of the quiet unassuming "techie"...you are gonna need someone to defragement you hard drive sooner or later... literally and euphamistically.
Monday, August 17, 2009
the politics of marriage
So, i was privy to a situation between a husband and wife at the j-o-b today (which admittedly is foreign to me given my "single" status). Don't ask why "single" is in quotations, lol.
background: work is killer right now. my unit has some huge projects under-way. very stressful, but potentially fruitful and definitely exciting projects. we will be working late nights (8-10pm in office) and early mornings (6-7 am start times) for probably the next week or so.
characters: self. you all know me, so i won't get into heavy character descriptions here. young (recent college grad) staff assistant (SA) and her NEW, younger husband (SAH). SA & SAH are african-american, pretty devout Christians and fairly conservative in general. SA is ivy-educated, YES she is attractive (for the male readers) and generally speaking, a well-rounded girl. Within the confines of our office and unit, she rarely has an issue sharing her opinions and makes very good decisions.
setting: office. approaching 8 o'clock hour.
SAH calls (not the first time since i've been over-seeing final pieces of tonight's project). He's downstairs, waiting on wifey to buzz him up. i come down to let him in so SA can keep working. of course, he is disappointed to see not his lovely wife, but my slave-driving ass come down to greet him with a marginally warm "hello." (sorry folks, it's the best i can do on 4 hours sleep, deadlines and with someone else's man). ok, so he's peeved, i would be too.
we make small talk on the ride up to the top floor. (ok, i have to interject some judgmental, albeit descriptive things i noticed.) 1. he didn't wait for me to exit the elevator first, he got off and waited for me to let him past our secure office door. 2. he then walked through the door in front of me and proceeded to SA's office. So, yea, fail on chivalry. he comes into the office, i step out so they can have a moment to greet one another/small talk. shortly after i return to the office, SAH makes a point to say (i think more for me than for her), "hun, b/c you have to be back by 6am, i need you to be done, ready to go, by 9."
OF COURSE the kid peeped this something strong. ok. imma let that pass. my brain interpreted this comment 2 ways simultaneously: 1. he is concerned for her well-being and wants her to get a good night's rest and have some balance between work and personal life. 2. he is controlling and concerned about getting home and watching the T.O. show.
so SA and I are grinding it out. as time wears on, i watch him monitor the time and give "gentle" reminders. as 9 swiftly approaches, he begins to huff and puff, tap his foot and make far less "gentle" reminders such as, "babe, you know i love you, but you've got to make some decisions." Now again ya'll know me, so you can only imagine what I am thinking. Okay, in case you're wondering, it went a little something like this, "she has decided to get this work done so we don't loose our damn jobs."
9:02 p.m., SAH: "babe, i really love you and you know this, but you need to decide what makes a happy home." Ok. So at this point, i'm like, "this is real not cute for ANY of us." combined with, "oh no he didn't." and "oh wait, yes he did and i kinda respect it." and don't forget, "nigga, she is keeping home happy by making this money to support your ass!"
SA promptly turns to me and says, "um, boogie, i can't stay. i really have to get home. i can finish this in the morning when we get back." (note, she doesn't provide one of the more professional responses including, but not limited to: "i can get it to you later tonight", or "by 11 and i will email it" OR "oh, hun, i need to stay 20 minutes and finish a critical piece to ensure completion by 8 am tomorrow"). SA then quickly turns off laptop and packs it up before i can ask where she stands on completing the task.
My response was no where near, "girl, i know, it's late, we need to get out of here. rather, it went a like, "oh, well, where do we stand? in reviewing the pages you just gave me, we have some corrections to make before print tomorrow AM." i proceed to point them out to her, at the same time pointing out she needs to email me her latest draft so that I can continue working...TO GET THE JOB DONE.
now, i MUST acknowledge my single, heterosexual, liberal, feminist, independent,task/goal-oriented nature/persona. however, something about this entire situation rubbed me the WRONG FUCKING WAY! at the same time, i MUST acknowledge my single, never-married, no-children, young, task/goal-oriented status which limits my perspective on "what makes a happy home" between man and woman.
so, i need some feedback on what i witnessed. was this "typical?" (right, whatever THAT is...) did she abandon her job duties? would men expect their woman to leave work behind and come home to "make a happy home?" would women out there leave work (under a partner's command/request) to "make a happy home?" what makes a happy home? clear, shared expectations? demands? semi-reasonable requests on occasion?
again, i understand there are dynamics in play which i may not understand b/c i am have never been and am not currently married.
brothers, speak to me.
i know my ladies are gonna chime in.
background: work is killer right now. my unit has some huge projects under-way. very stressful, but potentially fruitful and definitely exciting projects. we will be working late nights (8-10pm in office) and early mornings (6-7 am start times) for probably the next week or so.
characters: self. you all know me, so i won't get into heavy character descriptions here. young (recent college grad) staff assistant (SA) and her NEW, younger husband (SAH). SA & SAH are african-american, pretty devout Christians and fairly conservative in general. SA is ivy-educated, YES she is attractive (for the male readers) and generally speaking, a well-rounded girl. Within the confines of our office and unit, she rarely has an issue sharing her opinions and makes very good decisions.
setting: office. approaching 8 o'clock hour.
SAH calls (not the first time since i've been over-seeing final pieces of tonight's project). He's downstairs, waiting on wifey to buzz him up. i come down to let him in so SA can keep working. of course, he is disappointed to see not his lovely wife, but my slave-driving ass come down to greet him with a marginally warm "hello." (sorry folks, it's the best i can do on 4 hours sleep, deadlines and with someone else's man). ok, so he's peeved, i would be too.
we make small talk on the ride up to the top floor. (ok, i have to interject some judgmental, albeit descriptive things i noticed.) 1. he didn't wait for me to exit the elevator first, he got off and waited for me to let him past our secure office door. 2. he then walked through the door in front of me and proceeded to SA's office. So, yea, fail on chivalry. he comes into the office, i step out so they can have a moment to greet one another/small talk. shortly after i return to the office, SAH makes a point to say (i think more for me than for her), "hun, b/c you have to be back by 6am, i need you to be done, ready to go, by 9."
OF COURSE the kid peeped this something strong. ok. imma let that pass. my brain interpreted this comment 2 ways simultaneously: 1. he is concerned for her well-being and wants her to get a good night's rest and have some balance between work and personal life. 2. he is controlling and concerned about getting home and watching the T.O. show.
so SA and I are grinding it out. as time wears on, i watch him monitor the time and give "gentle" reminders. as 9 swiftly approaches, he begins to huff and puff, tap his foot and make far less "gentle" reminders such as, "babe, you know i love you, but you've got to make some decisions." Now again ya'll know me, so you can only imagine what I am thinking. Okay, in case you're wondering, it went a little something like this, "she has decided to get this work done so we don't loose our damn jobs."
9:02 p.m., SAH: "babe, i really love you and you know this, but you need to decide what makes a happy home." Ok. So at this point, i'm like, "this is real not cute for ANY of us." combined with, "oh no he didn't." and "oh wait, yes he did and i kinda respect it." and don't forget, "nigga, she is keeping home happy by making this money to support your ass!"
SA promptly turns to me and says, "um, boogie, i can't stay. i really have to get home. i can finish this in the morning when we get back." (note, she doesn't provide one of the more professional responses including, but not limited to: "i can get it to you later tonight", or "by 11 and i will email it" OR "oh, hun, i need to stay 20 minutes and finish a critical piece to ensure completion by 8 am tomorrow"). SA then quickly turns off laptop and packs it up before i can ask where she stands on completing the task.
My response was no where near, "girl, i know, it's late, we need to get out of here. rather, it went a like, "oh, well, where do we stand? in reviewing the pages you just gave me, we have some corrections to make before print tomorrow AM." i proceed to point them out to her, at the same time pointing out she needs to email me her latest draft so that I can continue working...TO GET THE JOB DONE.
now, i MUST acknowledge my single, heterosexual, liberal, feminist, independent,task/goal-oriented nature/persona. however, something about this entire situation rubbed me the WRONG FUCKING WAY! at the same time, i MUST acknowledge my single, never-married, no-children, young, task/goal-oriented status which limits my perspective on "what makes a happy home" between man and woman.
so, i need some feedback on what i witnessed. was this "typical?" (right, whatever THAT is...) did she abandon her job duties? would men expect their woman to leave work behind and come home to "make a happy home?" would women out there leave work (under a partner's command/request) to "make a happy home?" what makes a happy home? clear, shared expectations? demands? semi-reasonable requests on occasion?
again, i understand there are dynamics in play which i may not understand b/c i am have never been and am not currently married.
brothers, speak to me.
i know my ladies are gonna chime in.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Facebook fooliness.. (a story in screen captures)
So yesterday a single friend of mine posted an article about marriage on her facebook page. The article itself was cool, but as can be expected, the comments quickly deteriorated into the typical "Good Black men are hard to find" and "Y'all Black women are too picky," Below is the screen grab of the convo. I have blotted out the names to protect the ignorant. Notice the post before mine...
So pretty much, my intention was to a) "give a brotha a chance and b) maybe get some free dinner! (can't blame me for trying) Next thing I know I get this message in my personal inbox from the guy who posted before me... we'll call him E.
WTF!!!!! I think to myself...well you fit neither of my criteria... then there's not reason for me to call you...so i go on to bed and living my life...until i get this message tonight...read on...
i
So now I'm a little offended... okay... more than that, I'm starting to get pissy...so this is my reply...
"Hate to answer a question with a question... and i will try not to be combative... but dude... you don't know me and you just stepped to me with some real BS. you told me you were in a relationship, then gave me your number, then sent me an email entitled "offer" when i did not respond. What exactly were you offering me, E--? a chance to be your jump off? a chance to get you out of a complicated situation? a chance to get myself caught up in all of the unnecessary drama that black men and women embattle each other in? a chance to be "that girl" that brings hurt into another woman's life? it clearly wasn't an offer just to trade ideas...we could have done that on the wall post without needing a private message or things being complicated, or you passing a "litmus" test.
I'm grateful you were honest and up front, many people aren't even that up front. but dang really? And what makes it even more hurtful is that i asked my girl what your deal was and she told me exactly how successful and intelligent you are. I would have been just as happy talking to you as an interesting, non-romantic interest. But you took it to this other level where you frankly had no reason or business taking it.
Why did i have to establish the boundary? why didn't you? Because you have a Y chromosome? THAT is what frustrates me. So i will let our interaction be the response to your inquiry. Yes, it is difficult..because for some reason even seemingly intelligent men make the assumption that i just MIGHT be willing to pass on my standards and convictions for a compliment, or a hug, or a dinner or a good lay... and when they find out that i am a woman of substance (education and looks notwithstanding) they move on to something a little less challenging...often lesser quality, but something that makes it easy to dabble and let go when they are done. because they were never really interested in the substance that i had to offer.
do me a favor though, don't move on to the next thing until you properly finish with what you have on your plate now. And you should look at what you have now...it very well may be worth being actually COMMITTED to.
no animosity intended, i just wish brothers (of all race) didn't approach situations this way, and i wish even more that sistahs (of all races) wouldn't fall prey to the fear of loneliness to let them get away with it."
After sending this message of course, he's all upset and is like..."Oh it wasn't even like that, you jumped to a conclusion, I gave you my number so we could have a non-romantic discussion about the topic that was posted. Plus, as an intelligent woman you should know that I could just be meeting people people to help some of the single guys that I know find good women out there!" blah blah blah....
I just wanted to check with yal... do i look that stupid? Or could someone really be out of touch of how this whole thing could appear of base? ::sigh:: N**** aint ish, man....
So pretty much, my intention was to a) "give a brotha a chance and b) maybe get some free dinner! (can't blame me for trying) Next thing I know I get this message in my personal inbox from the guy who posted before me... we'll call him E.
WTF!!!!! I think to myself...well you fit neither of my criteria... then there's not reason for me to call you...so i go on to bed and living my life...until i get this message tonight...read on...
i
So now I'm a little offended... okay... more than that, I'm starting to get pissy...so this is my reply..."Hate to answer a question with a question... and i will try not to be combative... but dude... you don't know me and you just stepped to me with some real BS. you told me you were in a relationship, then gave me your number, then sent me an email entitled "offer" when i did not respond. What exactly were you offering me, E--? a chance to be your jump off? a chance to get you out of a complicated situation? a chance to get myself caught up in all of the unnecessary drama that black men and women embattle each other in? a chance to be "that girl" that brings hurt into another woman's life? it clearly wasn't an offer just to trade ideas...we could have done that on the wall post without needing a private message or things being complicated, or you passing a "litmus" test.
I'm grateful you were honest and up front, many people aren't even that up front. but dang really? And what makes it even more hurtful is that i asked my girl what your deal was and she told me exactly how successful and intelligent you are. I would have been just as happy talking to you as an interesting, non-romantic interest. But you took it to this other level where you frankly had no reason or business taking it.
Why did i have to establish the boundary? why didn't you? Because you have a Y chromosome? THAT is what frustrates me. So i will let our interaction be the response to your inquiry. Yes, it is difficult..because for some reason even seemingly intelligent men make the assumption that i just MIGHT be willing to pass on my standards and convictions for a compliment, or a hug, or a dinner or a good lay... and when they find out that i am a woman of substance (education and looks notwithstanding) they move on to something a little less challenging...often lesser quality, but something that makes it easy to dabble and let go when they are done. because they were never really interested in the substance that i had to offer.
do me a favor though, don't move on to the next thing until you properly finish with what you have on your plate now. And you should look at what you have now...it very well may be worth being actually COMMITTED to.
no animosity intended, i just wish brothers (of all race) didn't approach situations this way, and i wish even more that sistahs (of all races) wouldn't fall prey to the fear of loneliness to let them get away with it."
After sending this message of course, he's all upset and is like..."Oh it wasn't even like that, you jumped to a conclusion, I gave you my number so we could have a non-romantic discussion about the topic that was posted. Plus, as an intelligent woman you should know that I could just be meeting people people to help some of the single guys that I know find good women out there!" blah blah blah....
I just wanted to check with yal... do i look that stupid? Or could someone really be out of touch of how this whole thing could appear of base? ::sigh:: N**** aint ish, man....
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
i don't want to be pursued.
so, i had this epiphany the other night after a date with a really nice guy. (so, so sad, i know). the feeling started after i met two (seemingly nice) men (at a club, dammit) last friday evening. BOTH of them called the next afternoon to request my presence for that or the following evening. my FIRST reaction? not excitement or anticipation over the possibilities or nervousness about a date. rather, i was bothered. before you ask/wonder, both were pleasant, easy to talk to and acted in a gentlemanly manner on the phone. the reality is...
...i simply don't like being pursued. i haven't completely figured out why. i think it's because it can be with clouded or false intentions, b/c most guys suck at it and also b/c i am not trying to be nobody's full-time boo. however, i don't think any of these is enough to fully explain the level of agitation i feel when pursued by men. and it's not just these to two men; in reflection, i would say i am generally uncomfortable with being pursued.
i dunno, it is just weird for a guy to be "pressed" about getting to know you. if you JUST met me why are you trying to occupy so much of my time between dates, calls, texts and THEN you ask me for my email? DUUUUDE, back off. i need you NOT to have all my contact info. so, so sorry i let you pick me up for the first date. now you know where i live! ugh... i'd much rather the relationship develop organically and we see what happens. coming at me with the seeming intention of 1)laying my ass 2)booing me up in the somewhat immediate future is uncomfortable.
so those of you who don't know me are probably, at this point, asking yourselves, daaaammnnn...what happened to this chic as a child?! nothing, lol. but i would like some analysis, feedback and outside perspective.
oh, and PLEASE know, this shit right here don't help!
...i simply don't like being pursued. i haven't completely figured out why. i think it's because it can be with clouded or false intentions, b/c most guys suck at it and also b/c i am not trying to be nobody's full-time boo. however, i don't think any of these is enough to fully explain the level of agitation i feel when pursued by men. and it's not just these to two men; in reflection, i would say i am generally uncomfortable with being pursued.
i dunno, it is just weird for a guy to be "pressed" about getting to know you. if you JUST met me why are you trying to occupy so much of my time between dates, calls, texts and THEN you ask me for my email? DUUUUDE, back off. i need you NOT to have all my contact info. so, so sorry i let you pick me up for the first date. now you know where i live! ugh... i'd much rather the relationship develop organically and we see what happens. coming at me with the seeming intention of 1)laying my ass 2)booing me up in the somewhat immediate future is uncomfortable.
so those of you who don't know me are probably, at this point, asking yourselves, daaaammnnn...what happened to this chic as a child?! nothing, lol. but i would like some analysis, feedback and outside perspective.
oh, and PLEASE know, this shit right here don't help!
Friday, March 6, 2009
my conundrum...
How do you navigate protecting yourself, when taking care of "You" is hurting someone you love?
I know its not healthy to offer one's self up as an emotional martyr....
I feel guilty for the moments of happiness I feel without him...
I feel conflicted in the moments when I desperately just want a shoulder or another perspective...
I feel stupid for crying in the face of some obvious incompatibility...
I feel weak for indulging my tendency to romanticize and reminisce...
I get nauseous from the self-loathing I feel when I know I've made him cry or messed up his day...
I get nauseous from the self-loathing I feel when I let his words or actions mess up MY day..
I find strength in my ability to call him and be friendly...
I find strength in my ability not to call him at all...
I want him to make this work with the new girl...I couldn't stand by and watch him hurting again
Part of me is terrified of being responsible for another's happiness...not sure i handle it well...
But I want him to make it work with her and not give up on our friendship...or at least the chance of our friendship...
I feel guilty for not being able to cut him off, for both of our sakes...
but is that right? I can only make the decision for me, right? I can't decide whats best for him...can I? That's not my place....
He blames me. I blame him and me... so it two against one right now...
Was I stupid for not just taking the bad with the good. Maybe no one is as happy as I think "happy" should be. Maybe that's as close as I was gonna get... maybe Happy Often was my best option? If it was your best option, its not settling right?
I'm 85% sure i did the right thing, even though it wasn't easy...isn't easy.
Shouldn't the right thing feel better though?
I hope my new healthcare plan covers a shrink...I just wish I knew how to feel better in all of this...
I know its not healthy to offer one's self up as an emotional martyr....
I feel guilty for the moments of happiness I feel without him...
I feel conflicted in the moments when I desperately just want a shoulder or another perspective...
I feel stupid for crying in the face of some obvious incompatibility...
I feel weak for indulging my tendency to romanticize and reminisce...
I get nauseous from the self-loathing I feel when I know I've made him cry or messed up his day...
I get nauseous from the self-loathing I feel when I let his words or actions mess up MY day..
I find strength in my ability to call him and be friendly...
I find strength in my ability not to call him at all...
I want him to make this work with the new girl...I couldn't stand by and watch him hurting again
Part of me is terrified of being responsible for another's happiness...not sure i handle it well...
But I want him to make it work with her and not give up on our friendship...or at least the chance of our friendship...
I feel guilty for not being able to cut him off, for both of our sakes...
but is that right? I can only make the decision for me, right? I can't decide whats best for him...can I? That's not my place....
He blames me. I blame him and me... so it two against one right now...
Was I stupid for not just taking the bad with the good. Maybe no one is as happy as I think "happy" should be. Maybe that's as close as I was gonna get... maybe Happy Often was my best option? If it was your best option, its not settling right?
I'm 85% sure i did the right thing, even though it wasn't easy...isn't easy.
Shouldn't the right thing feel better though?
I hope my new healthcare plan covers a shrink...I just wish I knew how to feel better in all of this...
Monday, January 26, 2009
He's just not that...
ok, so first let me start by saying that i am SHOCKED and appalled i (happily un-coupled) am writing about men. ugh...the thought of it makes my flesh crawl. anywho, on to the post...
so with our beloved other half does it always boil down to interest (as our friend Greg has made millions from telling us)? You know, for a good bit, i prescribed to school of thought. now, i am not so sure. eff with me for a sec while we have a 'rita and smoke a clove...
here are some of my revised feelings on the matter...
1. he's just not that well-versed in "courting." yes, i took it back to the old-school, country lingo. but real talk, how many men have you encountered in the past week, month, year, 5 years who really know how to come to a woman? really? some of us have been in relationships for a long time (when courting wasn't as important to us), some of us are just beginning a relationship and for the rest of us it's been so long...
regardless of how long it's been, did the last guy you were with really give you the treatment during the courting phase you were entitled to? i know most dudes step to us as if we wear collars, communicate through calls of the wild, etc. Men (younger men) don't know how to gain (or keep) a grown woman's attention. i dunno about the rest of ya'll, but i am soo in grown woman territory. you can't come at me like you did when i was living part-time in Gregg Hall. nope. sorry, bruh. (i think b. enchanted posted on this topic a few weeks ago.)
2. he's just got too many options. ok. stop. this is not the same as "just not that interested in you." why not? well, b/c i think we all know men can be interested in multiple women. granted, i am speaking from the perspective of someone not currently looking for a full-time boo. therefore, i am much more open and honest about the fact that men may have multiple options (and pursue them). so a man may not be interested to the point of wanting to have ONE, FULL-TIME boo; but he may still be interested. i'm okay with that. however, what is not okay is to act interested, even mildly, if you know you are not.
so that's all for now. simple, but lends itself to other options outside of interest. however, the argument could still stand that "interest" supersedes all of the above. thoughts?
so with our beloved other half does it always boil down to interest (as our friend Greg has made millions from telling us)? You know, for a good bit, i prescribed to school of thought. now, i am not so sure. eff with me for a sec while we have a 'rita and smoke a clove...
here are some of my revised feelings on the matter...
1. he's just not that well-versed in "courting." yes, i took it back to the old-school, country lingo. but real talk, how many men have you encountered in the past week, month, year, 5 years who really know how to come to a woman? really? some of us have been in relationships for a long time (when courting wasn't as important to us), some of us are just beginning a relationship and for the rest of us it's been so long...
regardless of how long it's been, did the last guy you were with really give you the treatment during the courting phase you were entitled to? i know most dudes step to us as if we wear collars, communicate through calls of the wild, etc. Men (younger men) don't know how to gain (or keep) a grown woman's attention. i dunno about the rest of ya'll, but i am soo in grown woman territory. you can't come at me like you did when i was living part-time in Gregg Hall. nope. sorry, bruh. (i think b. enchanted posted on this topic a few weeks ago.)
2. he's just got too many options. ok. stop. this is not the same as "just not that interested in you." why not? well, b/c i think we all know men can be interested in multiple women. granted, i am speaking from the perspective of someone not currently looking for a full-time boo. therefore, i am much more open and honest about the fact that men may have multiple options (and pursue them). so a man may not be interested to the point of wanting to have ONE, FULL-TIME boo; but he may still be interested. i'm okay with that. however, what is not okay is to act interested, even mildly, if you know you are not.
so that's all for now. simple, but lends itself to other options outside of interest. however, the argument could still stand that "interest" supersedes all of the above. thoughts?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Country Love
I also miss having a boo when Anthony Hamilton CDs are released. I would definitely be like the girl in the video but I do miss that do whatever it takes to make you smile love. Enjoy. I listened to this song probably 30 times today. Traffic.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Single Ladies (Put Health Care On it)
I know. Corny.
Anyway, I love this blog so much I get it sent straight to my email so I don't miss anything. And a great post on health insurance for those single ladies who do not have any through their place of employment (such as myself). Check it out:
Anyway, I love this blog so much I get it sent straight to my email so I don't miss anything. And a great post on health insurance for those single ladies who do not have any through their place of employment (such as myself). Check it out:
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Second Thoughts on Singledom?
Yesterday, I went to lunch with some girls that I went to high school with. Two of them recently got engaged. We discussed the engagement stories, wedding plans, the costs, insuring rings and any number of things relationship/engagement/wedding related. I was excited for them and also just a little curious about everything that goes into this special day. For a moment, I also started to have second thoughts about my contentment with singledom and wonder what my wedding day would be like.
Also, on the way to the restaurant my friend told me about her mother's reaction to a major decision she made about her relationship. She then asked if my mom would react the same way. Initially, I said "no she wouldn't" but after a couple of seconds I realized I had no idea how she would react. I haven't been in a relationship since spring 2001 and however I thought my mom would react at that time is probably completely different because my life circumstances are completely different. For a second, I wanted to know what it would be like to have to make a major relationship decision, how I'd tell the fam and friends, and how they would react.
Last night, walking to the car from the club in the hottest pair of boots I've ever owned, (When I showed my girls the boots, the reaction was "you could have sex in those" " I saw the perfect lingerie to match those boots." My reaction was "have sex with who?" Yet, another one of those moments...) all I really wanted was a nice foot massage. For as long as it took me to get to my car, I wanted someone at home waiting for me to rub my feet and cuddle with me.
So to all those partner-free* ladies, when do you wish, if only for a second, that you had a significant other in your life? For those of you who are in relationships, when do you wish you were partner-free?
*single
Also, on the way to the restaurant my friend told me about her mother's reaction to a major decision she made about her relationship. She then asked if my mom would react the same way. Initially, I said "no she wouldn't" but after a couple of seconds I realized I had no idea how she would react. I haven't been in a relationship since spring 2001 and however I thought my mom would react at that time is probably completely different because my life circumstances are completely different. For a second, I wanted to know what it would be like to have to make a major relationship decision, how I'd tell the fam and friends, and how they would react.
Last night, walking to the car from the club in the hottest pair of boots I've ever owned, (When I showed my girls the boots, the reaction was "you could have sex in those" " I saw the perfect lingerie to match those boots." My reaction was "have sex with who?" Yet, another one of those moments...) all I really wanted was a nice foot massage. For as long as it took me to get to my car, I wanted someone at home waiting for me to rub my feet and cuddle with me.
So to all those partner-free* ladies, when do you wish, if only for a second, that you had a significant other in your life? For those of you who are in relationships, when do you wish you were partner-free?
*single
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
singledom
uh-oh...
...this MAY be an ongoing post, then again, i might get everything off my chest in this one post. we'll see. i was inspired by, what else? a facebook status.
so, the status read: "___ wonders if being single forever is a bad thing." my visceral reaction was "hell no!" i, unlike some (contributors, readers) am very comfortable being single. maybe too much so.
i think it's a sign when a co-worker (and not bff/co-worker; work spouse...just regular ol' co-worker) gives you a book about being "singled out" and how to live happily ever after. damn. it's like THAT? i'm that totally, obviously destined to be single? until ''ever after?" your professor who wrote the book gave out copies, and i was one of the first people who came to your mind upon receiving it?...ok...i guess...
truth is, right now, i am very comfortable in my singledom. comfortable needs to be qualified. so i'll say this, my level of comfort ranges from day to day. Let's use a likert scale to rate singledom comfort level 1= "where is my prince charming?" to 10= "what the F*ck are you looking at?!" most days, like today= ~6.
ok, so i've made up my mind. this is an on-going post. (duh).
...this MAY be an ongoing post, then again, i might get everything off my chest in this one post. we'll see. i was inspired by, what else? a facebook status.
so, the status read: "___ wonders if being single forever is a bad thing." my visceral reaction was "hell no!" i, unlike some (contributors, readers) am very comfortable being single. maybe too much so.
i think it's a sign when a co-worker (and not bff/co-worker; work spouse...just regular ol' co-worker) gives you a book about being "singled out" and how to live happily ever after. damn. it's like THAT? i'm that totally, obviously destined to be single? until ''ever after?" your professor who wrote the book gave out copies, and i was one of the first people who came to your mind upon receiving it?...ok...i guess...
truth is, right now, i am very comfortable in my singledom. comfortable needs to be qualified. so i'll say this, my level of comfort ranges from day to day. Let's use a likert scale to rate singledom comfort level 1= "where is my prince charming?" to 10= "what the F*ck are you looking at?!" most days, like today= ~6.
ok, so i've made up my mind. this is an on-going post. (duh).
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