Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from facebook requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FMLor something like this might happen to one of us-
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FMLNow there are some pros to having a public source of information about someone you're dating and don't know very well, initially. However, when you're basing your feelings off (or expressing your deepest feelings via) status updates and newsfeeds, it can become problematic. Then, if things don't work out as planned, you're left with the drama of reading about their new life everyday (or several times a day) or you avoid facebook altoghether for fear you'll come across their page. OR you are faced with the dreaded deletion and all of it's connotations and drama.
So, what are your thoughts? Do you facebook all your new boos, beaus, and friends of friends? Or has facebook become the new build-a-bear**?
*I say facebook because that's the only one I use but this could apply to myspace, tagged, twitter, blackplanet, ning, flickr, or any other site where people put too much of their business out into the world.
**Remember freshman year, "build-a-bear, destroy-a-relationship"?
4 comments:
LOL. Build-a-bear-destroy-a-relationship!
I've mentioned this in other palces but I'll say it again: I agree with ICs sense of ambivalence.
My best friends are people I talk to on a regular basis outside of Facebook. Even it is on chat, text, email or whatever other medium there is a deeper, personal element--including face time!
Facebook should not be something that makes or breaks friendships. Or relationships. And it SUCKS that if I broke up with someone, I would then have to see them or potentially see them on Facebook just by signing on--even if I took them out of my friends. It is like breaking up with your partner who lives next door and always being afraid of running into him or her at the grocery story/cafe/bookstore up the street.
Ugh.
At the same time, what can we do? That is literally the world we live in today. So how do we deal with the reality and the dream/hope and find some kind of intersection?
I think some time off of the computer should be mandatory for everyone--especially children and ESPECIALLY teenagers (yes, I said it)
damn...FB=build-a-bear...that's crucial. lmao.
but, it's also real talk.
which is why i have never, most likely will never have a relationship status on FB.
no, i don't add new beaus. however, i will gladly add friends of friends. i'd rather privately stalk the person to see if i can even find them before adding them. i feel like i might get a more realistic idea of who they are when i decide to ad them...just me.
ok, so now for a story that kinda backs up Tiasha's perspective on this...so my homegirl from the M and I fell out. it was messy, but b/c we'd (note past tense) been friends for 14 years, i figured the isht would come around at some point. i mean, we fell out, the world didn't end, right?
so, one day i am on FB writing on the wall of a mutual friend shared ONLY between the 2 of us. so, when I am his page, I notice we have no mutual friends in common. hmmm...
so then, I type her name into my "search" and her name comes up and is all, "add ___ as a friend" and names the 127 (or so) friends we have in common.
so, beleive it or not...THAT SHIT HURT, LMAO! my first thought, "wow, i guess it's really over."
weird. b/c no, FB doesn't (or better, shouldn't) dictate friendship. BUT, i think it does for a lot of ppl.
eh...
Hmm... I must've logged in under the wrong name because my goverment showed up. Erased that with the quickness and here's the comment I had before. Womp.
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Facebook is real life. It really is. I find myself saying such and suches fb status said this or so and so tweeted that A LOT in real life. I'm not bothered or embarassed by that. I participate in social media and while it's a fabulous way to keep in touch with old friends and family, it's a horrible way communicate relationship status. Break-ups are hard enough, nevermind folks ALL in your business in real life and now we have to add fb to it.
I guess if I want to unlimited pho-to opportunities fb provides, I also have to deal with the icky break-ups and divorces online.
If nothing else, it makes for some GREAT comedy.
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