Merry Christmas!
From The First Family...
and for BL!
From Diddy...
The Closet House
3 years ago
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas
Kismet and I had a conversation a while back where we said that this blog was the best idea that Boogie ever had. Now we all know that she is brilliant so I don't know if that is quite right. However, I am certainly grateful for this space to discuss the personal, political, and simply random with you wonderful women. I miss you all and wish you all a safe and happy holiday season.
From The First Family...
and for BL!
From Diddy...
From The First Family...
and for BL!
From Diddy...
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Belated Response: Rick Warren
Sitting in the airport headed home. And this comment went on far too long on this post and this post. Toma:
1. Maven is right. As far as I have found, at least not from his own mouth, Rick Warren has not directly tied homosexuality or gay marriage to incest, pedophilia, polygamy, etc. Concession granted.
2. However, Maven is wrong that Warren doesn't do so implicitly! He pretty much ties all of those together into one big, fat knot of similar sin that real Christians (read: good, moral, etc. people) ought to best avoid. I do think the video does a much better job of providing context for what he says...and it also does a much better job of demonstrating his homophobia and a dangerous obfuscation of what is dangerous and violent with who/what a person is. And where this really becomes sticky is where gay marriage and Rick Warren becomes gay marriage and a general homophobia of a certain kind, in certain Christian communities. I beef with this big time, although I do it as someone who is outside of this community both as a Catholic (we got to hell for breathing the wrong way on the wrong day) and as a Catholic (damn molesting a$$ priests) and as a Latina Catholic (rampant, violent homophobia and machismo is in our water) and as a Puerto Rican Catholic (totally out the box all the time--who cares what you do in your bedroom? I'm having premarital sex anyway).
3. Not I did not use gay-bashing above. I will release Warren from my charge of gay-bashing because I don't think it is relevant here in this case. HOWEVER, I think the problem I have with Rick Warren as a leader is above and beyond homophobic Christian rhetoric precisely because the two lead into the other. And this is where I completely disagree with Maven's comment on the Rick Warren post:
Also interesting that Puritan got thrown in there too because a hyper-heterosexual stance is pretty, damn Puritan. Contesting that is actually part of our other tradition. You know, the radical, anti-hierarchical tradition of dissent, resistance and revolt for human rights. The same one that sent slaves scampering across the Ohio River and even as far as Canada. And that is just one example. Those human rights weren't always clear for everyone--most of the founders who signed the Dec were also slaveowners--but part of our tradition of dissent comes from the (very Christian, at least in the U.S.) understanding that human kindness and morality do not stand outside of larger issues because the two (larger issues, inherent morality) are intricately connected. Social movements throughout U.S. history have used the perceived connection between the two to mobilize since our slaveowners started grumbling in 1776 about their damn tea. Suffrage, Great Awakenings, Civil War, Progressivism, Civil Rights Movement and all attending movements....the list goes on and on.
4. Rick Warren did support Prop 8. Even if he was one of the least inflammatory about it. But this was interesting:
1. Maven is right. As far as I have found, at least not from his own mouth, Rick Warren has not directly tied homosexuality or gay marriage to incest, pedophilia, polygamy, etc. Concession granted.
2. However, Maven is wrong that Warren doesn't do so implicitly! He pretty much ties all of those together into one big, fat knot of similar sin that real Christians (read: good, moral, etc. people) ought to best avoid. I do think the video does a much better job of providing context for what he says...and it also does a much better job of demonstrating his homophobia and a dangerous obfuscation of what is dangerous and violent with who/what a person is. And where this really becomes sticky is where gay marriage and Rick Warren becomes gay marriage and a general homophobia of a certain kind, in certain Christian communities. I beef with this big time, although I do it as someone who is outside of this community both as a Catholic (we got to hell for breathing the wrong way on the wrong day) and as a Catholic (damn molesting a$$ priests) and as a Latina Catholic (rampant, violent homophobia and machismo is in our water) and as a Puerto Rican Catholic (totally out the box all the time--who cares what you do in your bedroom? I'm having premarital sex anyway).
3. Not I did not use gay-bashing above. I will release Warren from my charge of gay-bashing because I don't think it is relevant here in this case. HOWEVER, I think the problem I have with Rick Warren as a leader is above and beyond homophobic Christian rhetoric precisely because the two lead into the other. And this is where I completely disagree with Maven's comment on the Rick Warren post:
@T so very true. it is interesting that as Warren points out in the video that everyone is so quick to point out the shortcomings of others instead of their own. gluttony, materialism, lying, gossip, unkindness--all of these get constantly overlooked in order to "address" beliefs on sex. Gotta love the puritan traditions in this country! ::eyes rolling:: so frustrating sometimes.Gluttony, materialism, lying, gossip, unkindness all stem from an intolerance, closed-mindedness, and violence that occurs from racist, sexist, and homophobic stances such as these. I've had many a Christian friend, who I love and who I know means well, in the context of discussing gay marriage, or same sex behavior, or either of those and the Bible, segue very smoothly into general gay-bashing: Those people molest children, those people are running the black family, those men aren't real men, those men are endangering us black women because they spread AIDS, those women aren't real women, that's gay (as a term, it seems like "gay" is to black folks what "ghetto" is to white girls), how gross, ew, yuck, etc. These are not bad people. These are people I truly care about. They are not evil. No more than the queer folks they are referring to. But the reality is when this language, sentiment, and un-Christian rhetoric is in the water, it doesn't stop just at, "Oh, you can't join my church but I'll give you funding for your AIDS projects." It doesn't stop at, "Well, do what you want but you're going to hell. But we can agree to disagree because that is tolerance." It stops at insults and sometimes, all too often, it stops at real violence.
Also interesting that Puritan got thrown in there too because a hyper-heterosexual stance is pretty, damn Puritan. Contesting that is actually part of our other tradition. You know, the radical, anti-hierarchical tradition of dissent, resistance and revolt for human rights. The same one that sent slaves scampering across the Ohio River and even as far as Canada. And that is just one example. Those human rights weren't always clear for everyone--most of the founders who signed the Dec were also slaveowners--but part of our tradition of dissent comes from the (very Christian, at least in the U.S.) understanding that human kindness and morality do not stand outside of larger issues because the two (larger issues, inherent morality) are intricately connected. Social movements throughout U.S. history have used the perceived connection between the two to mobilize since our slaveowners started grumbling in 1776 about their damn tea. Suffrage, Great Awakenings, Civil War, Progressivism, Civil Rights Movement and all attending movements....the list goes on and on.
4. Rick Warren did support Prop 8. Even if he was one of the least inflammatory about it. But this was interesting:
"His social consciousness is somewhat left of center, but his theological, ethical stance is right of center," said the Rev. William Leonard, a critic of the Southern Baptist Convention and dean of Wake Forest Divinity School in North Carolina. "That's the thing that makes him potentially a bridge person."
5. The inauguration does not belong to Obama the POTUS. Not Obama the man (he belongs to Michelle, dammit) but Obama the President of the United States. Obama the POTUS does not belong to Obama. Obama the POTUS is my duly elected President. I helped put his ass there with my vote and my money, as small as it was. And this entire election he's been aware of that, always claiming that this wasn't about him, his personality, charisma, or speeches. It was about us being active, being vocal and visible. The inauguration--and there will be other times in the next four years--is the moment when the vision of his presidency will become true. I am not comfortable with that vision including such conservative rhetoric, and again, I say that while being decently comfortable with that vision including HRC, Summers, and other sundry throwbacks of past administrations.
6. Witch hunts suck. But I don't think the media blitz has been a witch hunt (I don't mean blogs...bloggers live to witch hunt). Rachel Maddow has done great, balanced pieces on the situation, Warren sat down with Ann Curry in another interview. I just think the facts speak for themselves and this is an issue that is hotter than maybe the Obama team expected it to be. And I hope it stays that way! We keep sleeping on it! From what little I was asked to research, courtesy of Maven!, I am willing to consider this in the context of Obama reaching across the aisle. But that doesn't make me like it. Again, for some people it is HRC as Secretary of State. For me it is this ever more ambiguous hand that gets extended to the U.S. gay community (white, mainstream in particular). I'd feel better if he was reaching and already had a solid and well publicized stance on civil unions and how to secure them as a civil right (he's always kind of slid around that one). And I think that he is going to get pressed on this by people more qualified than me to do so (as an ally I can only say so much).
7. I've stayed away from the "Bible says gay is bad" stance. I don't know the Bible well enough to fight back. Even if I did, my worldview on the Bible is so un-Christian, that I probably wouldn't help anyone. For people like me, who live within and internalize all the contradictions of being human and following a faith (see the end of #2), this argument is not impressive and patently unconvincing. I therefore can't be an ally in that kind of conversation, but I hope that there are people who are those kinds of allies and can have those conversations.
That's all I've got for now. And I'm pretty darn happy. We don't talk about this enough, although I wish I had more of #7 in me. So if there is anything good the Rick Warren pick does for the country, it is this--conversation.
Inspiration can come from the oddest places...
Yesterday, after what seemed like the world's longest travel day, I finally got home to the MI. While getting settled in my room, which by the way my mother has turned into a holding cell for newly laundered clothing/gift center/locale for other random relics from my adolescence, I came across an opened transcript from WashU on my desk. I must have had an extra one still kicking around from my grad school application days.
Looking over my course selections, and the subsequent grades I recieved was like two pages of reliving undergrad. I saw my strong semesters, the semesters I kicked it (yet still got good marks somehow?!), the semesters when I emotionally and mentally struggled, the semesters when I cried more than I laughed, and the semesters when I laughed more than I cried. All of them are there on that wonderfully ugly green watermarked paper.
It was amazing to me to see how much work I did, and to realize that all of that effort and knowledge still resides in my me, and (even though I didn't recognize it as it was happening) has shaped my path and my personality. It's crazy. So often when I think about college, I fondly think of the great times outside of the classroom, and the class time sort of becomes the backdrop. But if I stop for a moment, it all comes back: the professors, the discussions, the inevitable stupid person that keeps talking without ever making a valid point, the papers, the readings, actually going to the library... all of the mental investment...all of the learning!
Maybe you all have already had that experience... and I'm just catching up. But I totally needed a heart to heart with myself. I feel like I've been floundering a bit since I graduated from the second master's program. Like once I started working and attempting to earn money, I started letting other people's mistakes and under estimation of my skills and worth start to define how I felt about me. But looking at the transcript was wildly fulfilling...not because it was perfect (cuz I totally have a big ole' NCR in language acquisition!)...but because it signifies a portion of finished work and my capability to accomplish tasks. And to be honest, I felt like I had lost that part of myself over the past few months.
They say you can't know where your going until you know where you've been... I guess they had a good point! I'd be interested to know if anyone else has had this experience...college transcripts or high school year book...?
There is just something inspirational and quietly triumphant in acknowledging one's personal history--not because we have overcome, but because of our efforts we are continuing a tradition of consistant overcoming. And that feels good.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Qualified Kennedy?
i remember freshman year when hilary clinton was running and the WU new yorkers had VERY strong opinions on the matter. similar story..."what makes her qualified to be a senator, the fact she is married to a former president?"
Just want to know my bbgs' opinions on this one...
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Judging by the screaming newspaper headlines and the steamy ecstasy of the gossip columns, people from other worlds might presume that it has already come to pass: that a woman who happens to be named Caroline Kennedy was pole-vaulted above the crowd and sent with magic wand and golden slippers to the U.S. Senate from New York, in the hope of saving the Empire State and bringing goodness to all its inhabitants.
After all, why shouldn't she be sent to the Senate?
Her unique experience of writing a book or two, smiling well, appearing from time to time -- but not too often -- at city mayoral news conferences announcing help for those who attend New York City public schools -- and, well, just being a Kennedy -- should suffice.
Her social standing alone, some might argue, would give her the advantage of all advantages. A Kennedy. Camelot. Ah! The greatness of it all? Not.
The man who has to make the decision whether or not New York is to be so vaunted in representation is Gov. David Paterson, the former lieutenant governor who had the fortune of replacing morally triangulated Gov. Eliot Spitzer after Spitzer's resignation in the face of a publicly humiliating sex scandal.
Paterson will have to face the voters in 2010. So will his pick to fill the seat that will be left vacant after Hillary Clinton is confirmed as secretary of state in early 2009. The governor's poll numbers suggest that voters like him.
Paterson has taken a tack much unexpected by challenging all to tighten belts, cut spending, pay more fees to the state and get rid of waste after Wall Street's collapse and the subsequent free fall in tax collections from the financial services business.
Paterson could have a tough time. Voters don't like losing money, they hate losing services, and all the earnest explanations about fighting the good fight together won't put better food on the table or pay the bills.
He needs someone who can help him win, and he needs someone who can win. He and the senator he chooses will both face the voters together. With that in mind, is Caroline Kennedy the correct choice?
On the issues of the day, Kennedy has been mighty silent. Financial cretins stealing for fun, profit and because they can? Not a word.
The wars? Syllable-less. Millions of humans evaporated in Africa's inner madness? Quiet and silent.
The auto bailout? Nada. The printing of a trillion soon-to-be inflated dollars that will further sap our savings? On such matters, Kennedy remains absolutely silent.
What about the destruction of the economy of western New York?
Does she know that there is a deeply pained world beyond the Westchester County border just a bit north of New York City that benefited little from some fairy-tale place called Camelot and less from well-orchestrated and timed public relations campaigns afforded only by the rich?
Why should Caroline Kennedy be named a U.S. senator? Is it because merit no longer matters? Surely, Kennedy offers the dazzle of an unmistakable surname and the kind of celebrity appeal that seems to follow members of the New York social elite. But for the white ethnics who gave their vote to Democrats on the promise of fairness and merit, Kennedy's star quality may not suffice.
The simple fact is that if the governor passes on other options -- candidates, many of whom serve in Congress and have earned their right to represent New York -- then he does so at his own risk.
In 1964, Robert Kennedy wanted then-Sen. Kenneth Keating's job so badly that he ran for office. President Lyndon Johnson's landslide victory in New York helped Kennedy win the election, but not before the challenger ran a campaign that made its appeal to voters and proved worthy. His niece has done neither. If Kennedy wants to be New York's junior senator, she should stand in line and run for office in 2010.
also, what are new yorkers' feelings on this as well?
Just want to know my bbgs' opinions on this one...
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Judging by the screaming newspaper headlines and the steamy ecstasy of the gossip columns, people from other worlds might presume that it has already come to pass: that a woman who happens to be named Caroline Kennedy was pole-vaulted above the crowd and sent with magic wand and golden slippers to the U.S. Senate from New York, in the hope of saving the Empire State and bringing goodness to all its inhabitants.
After all, why shouldn't she be sent to the Senate?
Her unique experience of writing a book or two, smiling well, appearing from time to time -- but not too often -- at city mayoral news conferences announcing help for those who attend New York City public schools -- and, well, just being a Kennedy -- should suffice.
Her social standing alone, some might argue, would give her the advantage of all advantages. A Kennedy. Camelot. Ah! The greatness of it all? Not.
The man who has to make the decision whether or not New York is to be so vaunted in representation is Gov. David Paterson, the former lieutenant governor who had the fortune of replacing morally triangulated Gov. Eliot Spitzer after Spitzer's resignation in the face of a publicly humiliating sex scandal.
Paterson will have to face the voters in 2010. So will his pick to fill the seat that will be left vacant after Hillary Clinton is confirmed as secretary of state in early 2009. The governor's poll numbers suggest that voters like him.
Paterson has taken a tack much unexpected by challenging all to tighten belts, cut spending, pay more fees to the state and get rid of waste after Wall Street's collapse and the subsequent free fall in tax collections from the financial services business.
Paterson could have a tough time. Voters don't like losing money, they hate losing services, and all the earnest explanations about fighting the good fight together won't put better food on the table or pay the bills.
He needs someone who can help him win, and he needs someone who can win. He and the senator he chooses will both face the voters together. With that in mind, is Caroline Kennedy the correct choice?
On the issues of the day, Kennedy has been mighty silent. Financial cretins stealing for fun, profit and because they can? Not a word.
The wars? Syllable-less. Millions of humans evaporated in Africa's inner madness? Quiet and silent.
The auto bailout? Nada. The printing of a trillion soon-to-be inflated dollars that will further sap our savings? On such matters, Kennedy remains absolutely silent.
What about the destruction of the economy of western New York?
Does she know that there is a deeply pained world beyond the Westchester County border just a bit north of New York City that benefited little from some fairy-tale place called Camelot and less from well-orchestrated and timed public relations campaigns afforded only by the rich?
Why should Caroline Kennedy be named a U.S. senator? Is it because merit no longer matters? Surely, Kennedy offers the dazzle of an unmistakable surname and the kind of celebrity appeal that seems to follow members of the New York social elite. But for the white ethnics who gave their vote to Democrats on the promise of fairness and merit, Kennedy's star quality may not suffice.
The simple fact is that if the governor passes on other options -- candidates, many of whom serve in Congress and have earned their right to represent New York -- then he does so at his own risk.
In 1964, Robert Kennedy wanted then-Sen. Kenneth Keating's job so badly that he ran for office. President Lyndon Johnson's landslide victory in New York helped Kennedy win the election, but not before the challenger ran a campaign that made its appeal to voters and proved worthy. His niece has done neither. If Kennedy wants to be New York's junior senator, she should stand in line and run for office in 2010.
also, what are new yorkers' feelings on this as well?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
From the mouth of the accused....
To fill in some of you casual comment readers, Kis and I have been back and forthing a bit about the Rick Warren issue.
Kis.. he did not call Gays Child molestors. He actually supported Prop 8. What he DOES have and issue with is the Redefinition of marriage.
Click here to watch the video (it wouldn't let me embed!)
Its interesting the Divorced population of the country didn't have more of an issue with Warren praying at the inauguration...apparently they're the dangerous ones...
Do with this as you will.
Kis.. he did not call Gays Child molestors. He actually supported Prop 8. What he DOES have and issue with is the Redefinition of marriage.
Click here to watch the video (it wouldn't let me embed!)
Its interesting the Divorced population of the country didn't have more of an issue with Warren praying at the inauguration...apparently they're the dangerous ones...
Do with this as you will.
Watch Your Water Bottles
To be certain that you are choosing a bottle that does not leach, check the recycling symbol on your bottle. If it is a #2 HDPE (high density polyethylene), or a #4 LDPE (low density polyethylene), or a #5 PP (polypropylene), your bottle is fine. The type of plastic bottle in which water is usually sold is usually a #1, and is only recommended for one time use. Do not refill it. Better to use a reusable water bottle, and fill it with your own filtered water from home and keep these single-use bottles out of the landfill.
Unfortunately, those fabulous colourful hard plastic lexan bottles made with polycarbonate plastics and identified by the #7 recycling symbol, may leach BPA. Bisphenol A is a xenoestrogen, a known endocrine disruptor, meaning it disturbs the hormonal messaging in our bodies. Synthetic xenoestrogens are linked to breast cancer and uterine cancer in women, decreased testosterone levels in men, and are particularly devastating to babies and young children. BPA has even been linked to insulin resistance and Type 2 Diabetes. For more of the science on the effects of BPA on our endocrine system etc. see these studies: Environmental Health Perspectives Journal. Nalgene, the company that manufactures the lexan water bottles also makes #2 HDPE bottles in the same sizes and shapes, so we have a viable alternative.
Read the rest here. And read about this woman's daughter here.
The Negro Speaks of Rivers
by Langston HughesI've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset.
I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Rick Warren
Hmm.
I'm a pragmatist most days. And I love me some O. So I can see the arguments behind Summers and Clinton as part of the Cabinet. I can even admit that I kinda feel good about Hill being around the hill as an attack dog for her former opponent. At least she isn't sowing dissent somewhere in the background.
But I've got to agree with the Kitchen Table.
What's the deal with Obama choosing gay-bashing homophobe Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation?
But I've got to agree with the Kitchen Table.
What's the deal with Obama choosing gay-bashing homophobe Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Ummm do you guys remember her???
Okay I was going to be discreet and send an email... but heck why not just write a blog! =)
I just got a friend request on facebook from a Jani. On her info it said she was Wash U '04... but i am blanking! I'm usually very good with names and faces, so thats why i'm stumped. Help a sista out before i accept or ignore this request....
I KNOW this is triflin' but humor me, ladies! (And if she friends the rest of yal don't put me on blast!)
I just got a friend request on facebook from a Jani. On her info it said she was Wash U '04... but i am blanking! I'm usually very good with names and faces, so thats why i'm stumped. Help a sista out before i accept or ignore this request....
I KNOW this is triflin' but humor me, ladies! (And if she friends the rest of yal don't put me on blast!)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Caption This!
Just Googled some images for the last post. This one caught my attention. What do you think this picture is saying?
...aaaaaaaaaaand GO!
Black Girl Gifts?
I'm in a secret Santa grab bag thing at my internship. Each day we give and get a small gift and on Friday we give a larger gift. Monday, I received nothing but Tuesday I received a bag of candy and a copy (as in a printout on regular computer paper) of The Black Women's Creed. I am the only black intern and the only black person in the grab bag. The black staff members chose not to participate for whatever reason. I don't feel one way or another about the creed but it's a little strange to get gifts like this from white people. These indirect comments about my race only show me that it is an issue for them or is that was it means to be multicultural? A Christmas card would have sufficed. Today, I received some candy. I'm waiting to see how the rest of the week goes and what I will get as a final gift.
My supervisor also bought all of the interns gifts. From what I can tell, everyone received a GAP scarf. I received a GAP (RED) scarf. Maybe I'm looking too deeply at that one but I'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else.
Has anyone received a black girl gift? If so, please share your stories.
My supervisor also bought all of the interns gifts. From what I can tell, everyone received a GAP scarf. I received a GAP (RED) scarf. Maybe I'm looking too deeply at that one but I'm wondering if this has happened to anyone else.
Has anyone received a black girl gift? If so, please share your stories.
What I Learned II: The ABD Version
- Not everyone you came in with is going to make it out of graduate school. And this fact has nothing to do with whether or not you make it out. The graduate degree is fully your responsibility.
- Smart people aren't actually smarter than anyone else. They're just more disciplined.
- "Habit is persistence in practice." ~Octavia Butler
- I need white people to fuel my hybridity. Whodathunk?
- You can do many things but you can't do many things well. Be master of a few and that will be enough.
- Dance is food for my soul.
The book club of the 21st century...
At the inception of this blog, I knew it would only be a matter of time until we started mulling over the idea of a book club. It only makes sense that a group of intelligent, college educated women--while pursuing avenues of collective and self-betterment--would approach the written word as a common ground to provide cerebral stimulus and elicit provocative dialogue ...
(dang, I'm good with words....gotta love the Wash U book learnin'!)
Anyway since I knew the whole book club was going to surface sooner or later (and it seems to have some clear support) I would like to suggest/amend the idea to include a movie/film aspect.
I need to get back into more leisure reading...so I concur that we should get our read on. But I feel like there are sooooooo many good movies out there! And I don't just mean hollywood blockbusters (cuz I'm sitting "marley & me" out this time!!!), I mean GOOD films --foreign, independent, cannes, sundance material!
The good, the bad, the obscure, the OMG Almódovar is a crazy genius, the "i'm at a cocktail party and NO one has seen this movie yet!" Those are the movies i want us to tackle!!!
So whattya say.... who wants to watch some movies!!! (and of course read some books too!!!)
who's in?
(dang, I'm good with words....gotta love the Wash U book learnin'!)
Anyway since I knew the whole book club was going to surface sooner or later (and it seems to have some clear support) I would like to suggest/amend the idea to include a movie/film aspect.
I need to get back into more leisure reading...so I concur that we should get our read on. But I feel like there are sooooooo many good movies out there! And I don't just mean hollywood blockbusters (cuz I'm sitting "marley & me" out this time!!!), I mean GOOD films --foreign, independent, cannes, sundance material!
The good, the bad, the obscure, the OMG Almódovar is a crazy genius, the "i'm at a cocktail party and NO one has seen this movie yet!" Those are the movies i want us to tackle!!!
So whattya say.... who wants to watch some movies!!! (and of course read some books too!!!)
who's in?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Country Love
I also miss having a boo when Anthony Hamilton CDs are released. I would definitely be like the girl in the video but I do miss that do whatever it takes to make you smile love. Enjoy. I listened to this song probably 30 times today. Traffic.
in response to Duncan, NCLB and Public Schools
so, this began as a "comment" and got waaay too out of control and long, waaay too quick. most definitely file this one under "fire it up."
first, let me start by saying that decisions in regards to educational policy are some of the most important AND difficult ones executives are forced to make. that said, rarely do they come out "right." as we know, it is nearly impossible to make a decision that benefits all. it is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to make decisions which make everyone happy.
second, i don't know much about the chicago public school system, but i do know the issues facing public schools and urban school districts. the bigger the district, the bigger the problems (cue Notorious B.I.G's "mo' money, mo' problems). i just read the article on mr. duncan, and from what i read in about 1,000 words, he seems like a good choice.
they mentioned he won't get rid of NCLB. Duh, no one will. in total, it doesn't need to go anywhere. there are definitely portions of NCLB which are inherently flawed and are of NO benefit for students or staff...i could go on. on the converse, we NEED accountability in the public education sector and there need to be standards (they should be realistic, but that is a different blog).
third, my soap box. it goes right along with realistic standards, but get ready...
the government via NCLB says we need to work to make ALL students proficient (on grade level) by 2013. cool. show me the money. the feds created standards for teaching and learning that require major reform. reform costs money. we can't drastically change the system without training, support, improved technology, more staff, well-prepared staff, motivated staff, parent education and support, early intervening services, etc.
there was (and has been) all this talk of what teachers do wrong, how parents don't give a damn and kids are ill-prepared. there has been LITTLE to NO talk about how the government will help struggling districts. there is however, TONS of talk about how struggling districts will be sanctioned. give me a damn break. now, i ain't saying there aren't under qualified, unmotivated, trifling, need-to-retire, can't-relate-to-the-population-they-teach, collecting-a-pay-check-until-the-law-school-of-their-choice-accepts-me teachers out there. i don't know about you all, but i know some FIYAH teachers (in public schools)...which leads me to the next point...
i too, went to public schools until WU and like Kis, didn't know there was a stigma associated with going to public school. (kis, imagine the stigma when i had to answer "no" when people asked about the magnet or special program @ my school...we didn't have one, ha!) damn, everyone i knew from home went to public school. kids that went to private schools had parents who were frontin' and thought they were better than the rest of our parents. it was all good, b/c we got just as good (if not better) educations than their kids, got in waaaay less trouble and were better socialized.
i heart public ed..FOR LIFE. i am an avid supporter of pubic education, always will be. allow me to let you kids in on a little secret...Title I status, high percentages of minorities, low test scores, etc DON'T MEAN SHIT when it comes to YOUR child's achievement. here's why...the most valuable, meaningful and prosperous education comes from the home. second to that, there are PLENTY of "low-achieving" schools with phenomenal teachers. i see it EVERYDAY. third, if you are not happy with the public education system, your child's schools, or the schools in your neighborhood, don't waste your money on fleeing the scene of the crime...get of your ass and do something to change the situation. write a letter to the school board, principal, local rep; go to PTA meetings, go to school board meetings, show up in your kid's class, have lunch with a child who doesn't have that luxury, tutor at the school, i could go on...
so fuck yea, i'm sending my kids to public schools. p.s., i can always petition to send my kids to a "better" free school out of my residential zone. i pay good tax dollars for schools, so the isht ain't really free no-way.
one.
first, let me start by saying that decisions in regards to educational policy are some of the most important AND difficult ones executives are forced to make. that said, rarely do they come out "right." as we know, it is nearly impossible to make a decision that benefits all. it is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to make decisions which make everyone happy.
second, i don't know much about the chicago public school system, but i do know the issues facing public schools and urban school districts. the bigger the district, the bigger the problems (cue Notorious B.I.G's "mo' money, mo' problems). i just read the article on mr. duncan, and from what i read in about 1,000 words, he seems like a good choice.
they mentioned he won't get rid of NCLB. Duh, no one will. in total, it doesn't need to go anywhere. there are definitely portions of NCLB which are inherently flawed and are of NO benefit for students or staff...i could go on. on the converse, we NEED accountability in the public education sector and there need to be standards (they should be realistic, but that is a different blog).
third, my soap box. it goes right along with realistic standards, but get ready...
the government via NCLB says we need to work to make ALL students proficient (on grade level) by 2013. cool. show me the money. the feds created standards for teaching and learning that require major reform. reform costs money. we can't drastically change the system without training, support, improved technology, more staff, well-prepared staff, motivated staff, parent education and support, early intervening services, etc.
there was (and has been) all this talk of what teachers do wrong, how parents don't give a damn and kids are ill-prepared. there has been LITTLE to NO talk about how the government will help struggling districts. there is however, TONS of talk about how struggling districts will be sanctioned. give me a damn break. now, i ain't saying there aren't under qualified, unmotivated, trifling, need-to-retire, can't-relate-to-the-population-they-teach, collecting-a-pay-check-until-the-law-school-of-their-choice-accepts-me teachers out there. i don't know about you all, but i know some FIYAH teachers (in public schools)...which leads me to the next point...
i too, went to public schools until WU and like Kis, didn't know there was a stigma associated with going to public school. (kis, imagine the stigma when i had to answer "no" when people asked about the magnet or special program @ my school...we didn't have one, ha!) damn, everyone i knew from home went to public school. kids that went to private schools had parents who were frontin' and thought they were better than the rest of our parents. it was all good, b/c we got just as good (if not better) educations than their kids, got in waaaay less trouble and were better socialized.
i heart public ed..FOR LIFE. i am an avid supporter of pubic education, always will be. allow me to let you kids in on a little secret...Title I status, high percentages of minorities, low test scores, etc DON'T MEAN SHIT when it comes to YOUR child's achievement. here's why...the most valuable, meaningful and prosperous education comes from the home. second to that, there are PLENTY of "low-achieving" schools with phenomenal teachers. i see it EVERYDAY. third, if you are not happy with the public education system, your child's schools, or the schools in your neighborhood, don't waste your money on fleeing the scene of the crime...get of your ass and do something to change the situation. write a letter to the school board, principal, local rep; go to PTA meetings, go to school board meetings, show up in your kid's class, have lunch with a child who doesn't have that luxury, tutor at the school, i could go on...
so fuck yea, i'm sending my kids to public schools. p.s., i can always petition to send my kids to a "better" free school out of my residential zone. i pay good tax dollars for schools, so the isht ain't really free no-way.
one.
Arne Duncan, NCLB & Public Schools?
So...more O news:
Chicago Public Schools chief Arne Duncan, who over seven years maintained a positive story line for the troubled district, will join longtime basketball buddy Barack Obama's Cabinet as secretary of education, a transition source said.Aside from my total amusement that Duncan is Obama's basketball buddy (My President is black) I wonder what Duncan's appointment means for education policy. Especially in regards to public schools and No Child Left Behind. And since I don't do education policy as much as I do education, and higher education at that, I turn to the Common Room for insight.
Drop it on me.
The BBGs know that I went to all public schools until college, that my public school education was the sh*t, and it was chock full of privilege (1 language and 1 magnet school). Recognizing the latter, it was still public ed, which brought with it a certain lack of resources in comparison to private, suburban and Catholic schools. Not to mention the public school stigma (that I discovered when I hit the college scene).
But I love me some public education. And I want to see public ed prosper.
That said.....on a related note....this line in the article gave me some serious food for thought.
The selection of Duncan almost certainly will renew debates about Obama's commitment to public schools, as the president-elect has opted not to send his daughters to the district that Duncan oversees. The Obama girls attend the prestigious University of Chicago Laboratory Schools, where Duncan also attended and his wife once worked as the athletic director.Hmm.
Obama has defended his decision to send the girls to private school, saying it was the best choice for his family.
"I taught there, and it was five minutes from our house. So it was the best option for our kids," Obama said in 2007.
I know the BBGs have had this conversation before....
But while the ed-heads are dropping policy knowledge in the comments, let's throw it out there again.
In the privileged-yet-conscious, blessed-but-fired up land of Bad Black Girl BAP life...is there a place for public school...for OUR kids?
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Grind II
I cant stand to fly
Im not that naive
Im just out to find
The better part of me
Im more than a bird...Im more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
Its not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Ill never see
It may sound absurd...but dont be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wont you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Its not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
Its all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
Im not crazy...or anything...
I cant stand to fly
Im not that naive
Men werent meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
Im only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
Im only a man
In a funny red sheet
Im only a man
Looking for a dream
Im only a man
In a funny red sheet
And its not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me....
----------------
Now playing: Five for Fighting - Superman
via FoxyTunes
Im not that naive
Im just out to find
The better part of me
Im more than a bird...Im more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
Its not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Ill never see
It may sound absurd...but dont be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wont you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Its not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
Its all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
Im not crazy...or anything...
I cant stand to fly
Im not that naive
Men werent meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
Im only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
Im only a man
In a funny red sheet
Im only a man
Looking for a dream
Im only a man
In a funny red sheet
And its not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me....
----------------
Now playing: Five for Fighting - Superman
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Grind
"Awaken me? Do I ever sleep? I no longer sleep, Monsieur; I dream sometimes, that's all."
~~Louis XIII in Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers
(While playing: Common - Common - Like Water for Chocolate - 10 A Film Called Pimp)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Catching Up... And A Poem
So I'm sitting in the airport...
Trying to get on an earlier flight...
And I just signed on... AND I AM SO Behind! I haven't been on since IC turned 27! I have a lot to catch up on!
But in the meantime... I am reading Drown by Junot Diaz... And I cam across a poem that I love and wanted to share...
The fact that I
am writing to you
in English
already falsifies what I
wanted to tell you.
My subject:
how to explain to you that I
don't belong to English
though I belong nowhere else
Gustavo Perez Firmat
* Can we say...
James Baldwin- "If Black English ain't English"...
Paula Freire- "change language... change the world"
oh how i miss academia...
** To those in academia... I envy you... if you only knew...
***I am now going to go back to deciding whether or not embossing was so 2007... And finish my conversation with my peers as why people still think its okay to wear uggs... clearly too many women missed the memo about the riding boot...
Trying to get on an earlier flight...
And I just signed on... AND I AM SO Behind! I haven't been on since IC turned 27! I have a lot to catch up on!
But in the meantime... I am reading Drown by Junot Diaz... And I cam across a poem that I love and wanted to share...
The fact that I
am writing to you
in English
already falsifies what I
wanted to tell you.
My subject:
how to explain to you that I
don't belong to English
though I belong nowhere else
Gustavo Perez Firmat
* Can we say...
James Baldwin- "If Black English ain't English"...
Paula Freire- "change language... change the world"
oh how i miss academia...
** To those in academia... I envy you... if you only knew...
***I am now going to go back to deciding whether or not embossing was so 2007... And finish my conversation with my peers as why people still think its okay to wear uggs... clearly too many women missed the memo about the riding boot...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Dealing with transition...
I love that this is the type of satire that comes with the Obama era... no jibes about being foolish, rash, cowboyish, or daft... they can only tease him about being cool...
Man, I love this country.
(dorry two videos in one day! I'm on a tear!)
Birthday/New Year Challenge
The Sunday before last kicked off the BBG birthday season and in the next few weeks, we will celebrate the New Year. As you all know, I just turned 27. So, I decided to create a list of 28 things that I want to accomplish or do by the time I turn 28. The list is as follows:
As you can see, the list is not complete. So ladies, bring on the suggestions! Some other suggestions have included financial goals or being more social and dating more. However, I need to find measurable ways to phrase them.
Now on to the challenge! Join me by creating your own list either for your birthday or the New Year. I'm looking forward to reading your lists and suggestions. I'm also hoping you all will hold me accountable.
28 by 28
1. Complete my MEd program.
2. Pass the National Counselor Exam.
3. Lose 20lbs and keep it off.
4. Maintain a workout regimen.
5. Try meditation.
6. Visit Canada.
7. Apply/Be prepared to apply to doctoral programs.
8. Participate in an AIDS Walk/Run.
9. Color my hair.
10. Travel outside of North America.
11. Take a dance class.
12. Perfect 28 new dishes.
13. Create a professional website.
14. Go to a play, museum or something artistic once a month.
15. Complete an art class.
16. Create a vision board.
17. Skydive.
18. Call 1 friend per week.
19. Take tennis lessons.
20. Volunteer for the hotline at least once a month.
21. Learn to swim.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
As you can see, the list is not complete. So ladies, bring on the suggestions! Some other suggestions have included financial goals or being more social and dating more. However, I need to find measurable ways to phrase them.
Now on to the challenge! Join me by creating your own list either for your birthday or the New Year. I'm looking forward to reading your lists and suggestions. I'm also hoping you all will hold me accountable.
Recent Revelation #4: It's Okay....
...to be alone. That was a big one. Attaching myself to Facebook because I miss my family, Flava, the BBGs, or Mr. is not a healthy way to enter my 27th year.
Growing up. Not an easy thing to do.
Growing up. Not an easy thing to do.
Recent Revelation #1, #2, and #3
- Facebook hiatus has freed up a LOT of my free time. I had no idea. It will henceforth be known as Crack Book. It has also reminded me about my own communication priorities. I have returned to phone calls--as opposed to wall posts--as a way to keep in touch with people. It is doing wonders for my sanity. And takes less time (surprisingly).
- I love sleep. But the grind has become such that any time I spend doing other things--including hanging out in the Common Room--is time that is taken from sleep. This includes eating, working out, talking on the phone, volunteering, work....all of it. Now, some of those things need to be done, like eating and working out. But, come on! I don't need to eat and watch CNN at the same time. I can eat right here at my laptop. Because that is another half hour of sleep I lose. Facebook hiatus helped me realize this so I am recommitting myself--renewing my vows, you might say--to that almighty arbiter of my fair or foul mood. Sleep.
- Learning multiple languages makes me feel really sexy. It expands my mind. I am successfully tackling an all French language article with savoir-faire for the first time. And I love it.
Good ole days
Okay so we are not old... but we are grown... which means some things just ain't like they used to be. So in order to celebrate the fantastic era of our youth, I wanted to share this with yal.
Music was so great before that damn autotune.....
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
reason number 18,745, 231 why i need to live in a major (diverse) city
Now those of you who know me well know i am a southern girl at heart or a "g.r.i.t s." (GirlRaisedInTheSouth) and have even poked fun of my southern ways from time to time. However, it is due time i take a bow and depart from the region below the Mason Dixon. I have spoken to some of you about feeling stifled in spirit, intellect, etc.
So today, not unlike most days, i received other reminders of why it's time to "throw 2" and be out.
#1 white, female middle-aged elementary school teacher of mostly minority students (you can feel the entitlement, right?) says to me, "ya know, i just LOVE your hair! i just wish mine would do that!" obviously, i have the "bitch please" look on my face. how could i NOT?! so she sees the look on my face and an in an attempt to soften the blow, starts talking about a friend (i use the term VERY loosely) of hers who has "dreads" (locs) and the friend's sister who has hair more like mine (described by the teacher as "wild" and "free-flowing")...blah, blah...
...then she realizes i still ain't going and says, "well, i guess it's like what Oprah says, 'if you don't have black hair, then you really have nothing to say about it.' "
my response, "exactly." as i walked away...
HAD ENOUGH? no? okay good, there is one more...
#2 white, female borderline elderly (see a trend?) parent advocate who likes to see me in the hallways at various schools and grin excessively from ear to ear and come running to me every time she sees me. (we are not friends. at all.) IF/WHEN she is with someone else, she makes it a point to introduce me as "the articulate, well-spoken, helpful, knowledgeable, poised, etc, etc, etc (fill in yor share of words she would never take the time to use if i were a white woman).
it's just getting old. sorry ya'll.
be on the look-out for #18,745,232...i'm sure i could make this a daily post.
So today, not unlike most days, i received other reminders of why it's time to "throw 2" and be out.
#1 white, female middle-aged elementary school teacher of mostly minority students (you can feel the entitlement, right?) says to me, "ya know, i just LOVE your hair! i just wish mine would do that!" obviously, i have the "bitch please" look on my face. how could i NOT?! so she sees the look on my face and an in an attempt to soften the blow, starts talking about a friend (i use the term VERY loosely) of hers who has "dreads" (locs) and the friend's sister who has hair more like mine (described by the teacher as "wild" and "free-flowing")...blah, blah...
...then she realizes i still ain't going and says, "well, i guess it's like what Oprah says, 'if you don't have black hair, then you really have nothing to say about it.' "
my response, "exactly." as i walked away...
HAD ENOUGH? no? okay good, there is one more...
#2 white, female borderline elderly (see a trend?) parent advocate who likes to see me in the hallways at various schools and grin excessively from ear to ear and come running to me every time she sees me. (we are not friends. at all.) IF/WHEN she is with someone else, she makes it a point to introduce me as "the articulate, well-spoken, helpful, knowledgeable, poised, etc, etc, etc (fill in yor share of words she would never take the time to use if i were a white woman).
it's just getting old. sorry ya'll.
be on the look-out for #18,745,232...i'm sure i could make this a daily post.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Some Work Flow for You
I see the BBGs are in the end of the year pressure cooker. Dorm room doors are closed and locked. The TV is off. No 11 minutes of perfection or egg noddles cooking on the stove. I hear india.aire playing somewhere...I think.....
Well, I'm still on the couch. Curled around this laptop. Planning a research trip to France.
And in honor of the grind, here is some work "flow" for you.
Well, I'm still on the couch. Curled around this laptop. Planning a research trip to France.
And in honor of the grind, here is some work "flow" for you.
Friday, December 5, 2008
More of This Conversation? *Sigh
We want Obama to mean something specific, either to us or to others, with little regard for how he actually sees himself. As it stands, Arenas seems ill-prepared to talk about how biraciality operates in the African-American context. The black community in America has always accepted people of varying shades, cultures and backgrounds. Originally, this was a consequence of racial oppression; racist laws that determined that anyone with black ancestry was black. We may not have chosen to be a hybrid people, anymore than we chose to come here in the first place, but that's what we are now. And it's a beautiful thing.
And that's ALL I'm trying to say.
(Thanks Adam at American Prospect and JJP who put me on game)
Anyone hear about Donofrio v. Wells? I guess the problem isn't that he's a Muslim or a terrorist anymore. The problem is he's British.
::sigh::
Can't WAIT until January 20th.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Inspiration: Wangari Maathai
From The Green Belt Movement website--
Wangari Maathai is the founder of the Green Belt Movement, an environmentalist, a civil society and women's rights activist, and a parliamentarian. You can read about her life and her organization through her two books, Unbowed: A Memoir and The Green Belt Movement. You can also scan condensed versions of her life and achievements, including being awarded the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize.
Since winning the Nobel Peace Prize, Wangari Maathai has become a spokesperson for a number of important initiatives.
Both before and since she won the Nobel Peace Prize, Wangari Maathai has spoken about, and been interviewed on, a range of subjects. You can read these articles, interviews, and statements, by visiting the themed sections listed at the bottom of this page, and in the menu bar on the side of each page.
BBGs. We Collect Inspiration.
Monday, December 1, 2008
World AIDS Day 2008: Memories, Reflections
December 1 is my birthday and for the last 20 years it has also been World AIDS Day. Somehow, I didn't realize that this was the 20th anniversary. Knowing this has caused me to stop and reflect on my understanding of the disease and how it has evolved over the years.
Please bear with me as my thoughts aren't the clearest but it's important for me to share this today.
My earliest memories of HIV/AIDS came from my family. My grandmother is a nurse and worked in the "AIDS ward" at the county hospital. As evidenced by the AIDS ward, this was a time when people knew very little about the disease. Many of my grandmother's patients, mostly gay men, had been disowned by their families due to fear and misinformation about the disease. My grandmother not only provided them with quality nursing care, she also took it upon herself to provide them with a sense of family. She developed relationships with some of her patients, invited them to her home and into our family. However, they were not always welcomed. I can remember one of my uncles saying something about not using the same dishes as a particular young man. This man also began coming to church with us thanks to my grandmother's influence. At some point, he decided to get baptized. I remember clearly the pastor stepping into the baptismal pool with rubber boots and rubber pants. If I recall correctly, he was the only person baptized that day. I remember thinking that both my pastor and my uncle were dumb. My grandmother fought on and eventually opened a non-profit org that provided housing for people living with HIV/AIDS.
I also remember reading about Rae Lewis Thornton and hearing her speak at my mother's graduation from nursing school in 1995. She changed how I saw the disease and her story would forever remain with me.
As I grew older, I'm sure I heard a lot about HIV/AIDS from the media. Who remembers listening to and watching Love Line in high school? As much as my mom didn't want me listening to or watching this show, I found it to be a great resource for information. It definitely helped me to make more informed decisions.
In college, I attended events and seminars and workshops on HIV/AIDS and safe sex. I attended discussions about the down low and the effect of HIV/AIDS on black women. I talked to my friends about it but somehow it seemed like it didn't affect us.
I can't remember when or how I found out but one of my uncles was diagnosed with HIV. In the summer of 2005, I watched my grandmother take care of him the way she had done for so many others. She tried everything she knew how and anything that anyone could think of. I watched my father take care of him in ways I'd never seen him look after anyone. I almost thought this was enough to change my father's life. Despite their best efforts and all the prayers that I'm sure were offered in his behalf, he succumbed to the disease. After that, it became a little more real for me.
I took my first HIV test because I thought my uncle would want me to, not because I thought it could really happen to me. I began getting regular STI and HIV tests because that's what adults do. I must say that I still didn't think it could happen to me. That is until right before I went into that room to take the test. This was before rapid testing. So from the time I went into that room til 2-3 weeks later when I could come back to get the results, I wondered if it could happen to me. Then, I went right back into the nah, not me mode until next time.
In 2006, I took a job in health care. I began working with people who were living with the disease. Some people had given up and resigned themselvea to remaining at a long-term care facility. Others were motivated to return to their homes or live with family and friends. I watched as some people cared for them as my grandmother had her patients. I advocated for them when others acted as if we were still in the age of misinformation.
In reflecting upon my academic career, I have also conducted a lot of research on HIV/AIDS. I have learned a lot about the disease but what stands out the most is the changing face of the disease. The women, most of whom look like me, and children who are being infected saddens me the most. It has been more than 20 years but the message has not spread to everyone.
I think it is time I start to do my part to make sure the message gets to more people. Today, my 27th birthday, I finally took a stand. I didn't do anything major. I'm posting this blog, posted testing information on my facebook status and I went to be tested. Yes, that 20 minutes was just as nervewrecking as those 2-3 weeks. This time though, I think I grew a little. I made a decision to be tested in my community though I was up north earlier today. As I looked around a room full of people who looked like me, I knew that someone would test positive. Because of that, I could not breathe a sigh of relief. In that moment, I challenged myself to do more. I've wanted to do more for a long time. So, I'm hoping that BL was right when she said that 27 is the age when you come into your own and become the adult you know you need to be. I need this to be true for me and if today is any indication, it will be.
I'll leave you with some photos from today's event.
X-Posted at silence is sound.
Please bear with me as my thoughts aren't the clearest but it's important for me to share this today.
My earliest memories of HIV/AIDS came from my family. My grandmother is a nurse and worked in the "AIDS ward" at the county hospital. As evidenced by the AIDS ward, this was a time when people knew very little about the disease. Many of my grandmother's patients, mostly gay men, had been disowned by their families due to fear and misinformation about the disease. My grandmother not only provided them with quality nursing care, she also took it upon herself to provide them with a sense of family. She developed relationships with some of her patients, invited them to her home and into our family. However, they were not always welcomed. I can remember one of my uncles saying something about not using the same dishes as a particular young man. This man also began coming to church with us thanks to my grandmother's influence. At some point, he decided to get baptized. I remember clearly the pastor stepping into the baptismal pool with rubber boots and rubber pants. If I recall correctly, he was the only person baptized that day. I remember thinking that both my pastor and my uncle were dumb. My grandmother fought on and eventually opened a non-profit org that provided housing for people living with HIV/AIDS.
I also remember reading about Rae Lewis Thornton and hearing her speak at my mother's graduation from nursing school in 1995. She changed how I saw the disease and her story would forever remain with me.
As I grew older, I'm sure I heard a lot about HIV/AIDS from the media. Who remembers listening to and watching Love Line in high school? As much as my mom didn't want me listening to or watching this show, I found it to be a great resource for information. It definitely helped me to make more informed decisions.
In college, I attended events and seminars and workshops on HIV/AIDS and safe sex. I attended discussions about the down low and the effect of HIV/AIDS on black women. I talked to my friends about it but somehow it seemed like it didn't affect us.
I can't remember when or how I found out but one of my uncles was diagnosed with HIV. In the summer of 2005, I watched my grandmother take care of him the way she had done for so many others. She tried everything she knew how and anything that anyone could think of. I watched my father take care of him in ways I'd never seen him look after anyone. I almost thought this was enough to change my father's life. Despite their best efforts and all the prayers that I'm sure were offered in his behalf, he succumbed to the disease. After that, it became a little more real for me.
I took my first HIV test because I thought my uncle would want me to, not because I thought it could really happen to me. I began getting regular STI and HIV tests because that's what adults do. I must say that I still didn't think it could happen to me. That is until right before I went into that room to take the test. This was before rapid testing. So from the time I went into that room til 2-3 weeks later when I could come back to get the results, I wondered if it could happen to me. Then, I went right back into the nah, not me mode until next time.
In 2006, I took a job in health care. I began working with people who were living with the disease. Some people had given up and resigned themselvea to remaining at a long-term care facility. Others were motivated to return to their homes or live with family and friends. I watched as some people cared for them as my grandmother had her patients. I advocated for them when others acted as if we were still in the age of misinformation.
In reflecting upon my academic career, I have also conducted a lot of research on HIV/AIDS. I have learned a lot about the disease but what stands out the most is the changing face of the disease. The women, most of whom look like me, and children who are being infected saddens me the most. It has been more than 20 years but the message has not spread to everyone.
I think it is time I start to do my part to make sure the message gets to more people. Today, my 27th birthday, I finally took a stand. I didn't do anything major. I'm posting this blog, posted testing information on my facebook status and I went to be tested. Yes, that 20 minutes was just as nervewrecking as those 2-3 weeks. This time though, I think I grew a little. I made a decision to be tested in my community though I was up north earlier today. As I looked around a room full of people who looked like me, I knew that someone would test positive. Because of that, I could not breathe a sigh of relief. In that moment, I challenged myself to do more. I've wanted to do more for a long time. So, I'm hoping that BL was right when she said that 27 is the age when you come into your own and become the adult you know you need to be. I need this to be true for me and if today is any indication, it will be.
I'll leave you with some photos from today's event.
X-Posted at silence is sound.
World AIDS Day 2008
Today is World AIDS Day. Aids.gov and The National Institute on Drug Abuse are asking bloggers to "Unite for World AIDS Day 2008." I am posting a few videos below as well as some helpful resources. As always, feel free to post reactions in the comments section. I would also like to invite all of the contributors to share your thoughts and experiences in a new posts. I'm trying to gather my thoughts.
Find an HIV Testing Site near you.
World AIDS Day: http://www.worldaidscampaign.org/
AIDS.gov: http://aids.gov/
AIDS.gov Blog: http://blog.aids.gov/
Alliance Library System: http://www.alliancelibrarysystem.com/
Alliance Virtual Library: http://infoisland.org/
Health Info Island Blog: http://healthinfoisland.blogspot.com/
Info Island Blog: http://infoisland.org/
National Library of Medicine: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/
Sexual Health Sim in SL: http://sl-sexualhealth.org.uk/
Metaverse Messenger (article): http://www.metaversemessenger.com/
pdf/2008/10/MM20081014.pdf
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