Tuesday, December 9, 2008

reason number 18,745, 231 why i need to live in a major (diverse) city

Now those of you who know me well know i am a southern girl at heart or a "g.r.i.t s." (GirlRaisedInTheSouth) and have even poked fun of my southern ways from time to time. However, it is due time i take a bow and depart from the region below the Mason Dixon. I have spoken to some of you about feeling stifled in spirit, intellect, etc.

So today, not unlike most days, i received other reminders of why it's time to "throw 2" and be out.

#1 white, female middle-aged elementary school teacher of mostly minority students (you can feel the entitlement, right?) says to me, "ya know, i just LOVE your hair! i just wish mine would do that!" obviously, i have the "bitch please" look on my face. how could i NOT?! so she sees the look on my face and an in an attempt to soften the blow, starts talking about a friend (i use the term VERY loosely) of hers who has "dreads" (locs) and the friend's sister who has hair more like mine (described by the teacher as "wild" and "free-flowing")...blah, blah...
...then she realizes i still ain't going and says, "well, i guess it's like what Oprah says, 'if you don't have black hair, then you really have nothing to say about it.' "
my response, "exactly." as i walked away...

HAD ENOUGH? no? okay good, there is one more...

#2 white, female borderline elderly (see a trend?) parent advocate who likes to see me in the hallways at various schools and grin excessively from ear to ear and come running to me every time she sees me. (we are not friends. at all.) IF/WHEN she is with someone else, she makes it a point to introduce me as "the articulate, well-spoken, helpful, knowledgeable, poised, etc, etc, etc (fill in yor share of words she would never take the time to use if i were a white woman).

it's just getting old. sorry ya'll.

be on the look-out for #18,745,232...i'm sure i could make this a daily post.

6 comments:

identitycrisis said...

YaY! for activity in the common room.

FYI - this ish doesn't stop north of the Mason Dixon line. You just have to hope they've been checked previously or actually have a real black friend and know how to act.

I'm looking forward to #18,745,232 and so on.

Kismet Nuñez said...

oooohhhhhh....articulate is my FAVORITE....

no comment on: "i wish my hair could do that"

but props to oprah! one more WW educated!

i can't WAIT until you get out here. but don't be fooled...the DMV is still very much the South. But at least we can be insurgent together!

The Maven said...

I just love it that quoting Oprah was the exit from the conversation.

Maybe we should make t-shirts that say "when in doubt, quote oprah!" and sell them at all events where white females congregate: tupperware parties, mary kay consults, frozen yogurt stands, and all Curves locations...

its a sound investment... they would sell like bottled water in mexico.

T said...

LOL @ Oprah shirts. That's a sound investment right there!

and like I.C. said you're still going to get those comments. The best (or worst depending on how you look at it) is when you are ACTUALLY close with a white woman, so she let's her guard down and says things that she wouldn't ask any other black person because she knows you won't snap on her.

Stuff like... "What country in Africa are you from"

I know for damn sure there was at least 1 paragraph in the history book about slaves and it didn't specify what "country" they were from. How my girl missed that paragraph is beyond my understanding, but I didn't snap on her... just gave the shit face and proceeded to answer the question.

Kismet Nuñez said...

"tupperware parties, mary kay consults, frozen yogurt stands, and all Curves locations..."

wow. you've got 'em pegged Maven. extensive study, much?

BLACK LILY said...

you will have that exact same conversation for at at least 1293845 times in the future.

i think that you have to come to accept it... i know.. i know.. but
i see it almost like a routine...

the proverbial they makes a statement... and you then respond...

its almost like riding a bike now...

now naturally we will all respond differently... i know that your facial expression did the trick... cause i can see it right now as i type... lol... but i will also say that i have recently taken the really passive condescending route...

ya know the... yeah... i completely understand... i would hate to have your hair to.... (all said with a smile)


** Please note the "proverbial they" is not race specific... i have heard crazy things from all shades of the rainbow...