"I want to fall in love again"

In the fall of 2001, I said to a friend in conversation that I wanted to fall in love again. Neither of us remember the context of that statement but the pure emotion of the statement stuck with her. It was the theme of my Christmas gift that year. It's now approaching nine years since that conversation and I have yet to fall in love again. I don't know quite how I feel about that. I'm not sad nor do I feel like I've missed out on anything in the last nine years but that feeling is definitely with me right now. So as I seek to love again, I'm reflecting on what love was to me.

Love was...

• being listened to.
  
• being loved.
  
• being seen for my best, even in my worst moments.
• problem solving.
  
• encouragement.
• safety and security.
• being a priority.
• feeling beautiful.
• being cared for.
• great kisses.
• hugs that made everything better.
• understanding my struggles.
• wiping away my tears.
• butterflies.
• smiling at the mentioning of a name.
• silly nicknames.
• feeling invincible.
• wanting to share my darkest secret.
• wanting to trust.
  
• hoping for forever.
• the desire to reciprocate.
  

I have to say, at 28, love doesn't look much different than it did at 19. The difference is that I know I can get all of these things (except the great kisses) from my friends and, most importantly, from myself. The last nine years have been full of new beginnings, lessons, and growth. I've been building a foundation that will support me so that the next time I do fall in love, it will feel more like a treat than...

oxygen.

wish list for 2010...

yo, my girls had it right in '93. just sayin'...



you're welcome...

;)

in a sentimental mood

consider this a "redux" of the previous post.

i just realized...i get really sentimental/moody/needy around this time of year. i could attribute it to any number of things. however, i am sure it has to do the high frequency of bbg b-days between dec-feb (therefore celebrations) and the reunions we were previously so damned good at creating.

immense amounts of love and miss.

The Good Ol' Days: Life before FB

Lately, the subject of facebook* and relationships has been popping up a lot - "'such and such deleted me as a friend', 'Dang, they deleted me too'" "I'm talking to this new guy/girl. Should I add him/her as a friend on facebook?" and "whatchamajig changes her relationship status every other day." With all this drama going on, I can't help but reminisce on days when friendships and relationships were not dependent on a facebook status. It makes me sad that my little cousins might find out that their boyfriends have broken with them in a facebook update or feel that a relationship isn't real unless it's on facebook or something like this happens to them -

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from facebook requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

or something like this might happen to one of us-

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

Now there are some pros to having a public source of information about someone you're dating and don't know very well, initially. However, when you're basing your feelings off (or expressing your deepest feelings via) status updates and newsfeeds, it can become problematic. Then, if things don't work out as planned, you're left with the drama of reading about their new life everyday (or several times a day) or you avoid facebook altoghether for fear you'll come across their page. OR you are faced with the dreaded deletion and all of it's connotations and drama.

So, what are your thoughts? Do you facebook all your new boos, beaus, and friends of friends? Or has facebook become the new build-a-bear**?

*I say facebook because that's the only one I use but this could apply to myspace, tagged, twitter, blackplanet, ning, flickr, or any other site where people put too much of their business out into the world.

**Remember freshman year, "build-a-bear, destroy-a-relationship"?

Just when you think there's no reason to visit Saint Louis ...

Enjoy! Sorry about the McCafe Ads...couldn't delete 'em.

St. Louis Board of Alderman Poised to Approve Obama Boulevard

January 15, 2009 - Delmar Boulevard is expected to be renamed Barack Obama Boulevard. (Max Gersh/P-D)

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St. LOUIS -- Get ready to take a ride on Obama Boulevard.

Days before the presidential inauguration in Washington, St. Louis aldermen are
poised to designate one of the city's busiest streets in honor of the new
commander in chief.

Delmar Boulevard in St. Louis, from downtown to the Loop shopping district,
would be designated in honor of Barack Obama in a plan eligible for final
approval today.

Though some at City Hall initially called the honor premature, the move now
appears to have enough support to pass. Mayor Francis Slay's office has said
that, if it is approved, he will sign the bill into law.

"It's about our accomplishment as a country," said Alderman Kacie Starr
Triplett, an early Obama fan who led the street push. "The country united to
elect Barack Obama. That's worthy of a symbolic designation."

The label would be purely ceremonial. On maps and other official documents, the
street name would remain Delmar. Signs would be placed at six intersections
along the street noting its twin designation as Barack Obama Boulevard. The
portion of the street that extends west into St. Louis County would be
unaffected.

While several aldermen expressed reluctance about honoring Obama before he even
moves into the White House, only one alderman, Stephen Conway from the city's
Shaw neighborhood, vocally opposed the measure.

His gripe?

That, to his knowledge, the nation's first Catholic president, John F. Kennedy,
hasn't been given a similar honor.

"I am not aware of a JFK Boulevard here in the city of St. Louis," said Conway,
who also is Catholic.

Conway was also miffed at the selection of Delmar — a north-south boundary that
at times has represented racial division — to honor Obama.

"The people here in the city of St. Louis voted for change to get rid of that
mind-set that we must have this demarcation," Conway said at last week's board
meeting.

Conway's concerns, however, were swept away by calls not to let the debate over
an honorary street designation — one of the most common types of legislation
heard by aldermen — get consumed by racial politics.

In St. Louis, scores of notables have byways named after them: Cardinals icons
Stan Musial and Jack Buck have streets downtown, while lesser known pastors and
public servants have been recognized in their neighborhoods.

Nationwide, St. Louis would join at least one other city — the South Florida
community of Opa-locka — to name a street for the new president.

On Delmar, the push was greeted warmly by store owners, who welcomed the extra
recognition in tough economic times.

But Dennis Williams, who owns FiFi's, a "punk" clothing store, does have one
concern — that shoppers on "Obama Boulevard" won't get lost looking for his
address, which will officially remain on Delmar near Skinker Boulevard.

"I have no problem with it," Williams said Thursday, "as long as people can
find me."

jwagman@post-dispatch.com | 314-622-3580

Just when you think YOUR life is full of drama...

Just remember: NO matter how insane things get, at least you're not living in an R.Kelly classic video!!!

But ..."if the shoe fits, wear it, boy!"



Sparkle knew she was hood-rich though! Hoppin' out that broke down caddy with a full length fur!!!