Yesterday, I went to lunch with some girls that I went to high school with. Two of them recently got engaged. We discussed the engagement stories, wedding plans, the costs, insuring rings and any number of things relationship/engagement/wedding related. I was excited for them and also just a little curious about everything that goes into this special day. For a moment, I also started to have second thoughts about my contentment with singledom and wonder what my wedding day would be like.
Also, on the way to the restaurant my friend told me about her mother's reaction to a major decision she made about her relationship. She then asked if my mom would react the same way. Initially, I said "no she wouldn't" but after a couple of seconds I realized I had no idea how she would react. I haven't been in a relationship since spring 2001 and however I thought my mom would react at that time is probably completely different because my life circumstances are completely different. For a second, I wanted to know what it would be like to have to make a major relationship decision, how I'd tell the fam and friends, and how they would react.
Last night, walking to the car from the club in the hottest pair of boots I've ever owned, (When I showed my girls the boots, the reaction was "you could have sex in those" " I saw the perfect lingerie to match those boots." My reaction was "have sex with who?" Yet, another one of those moments...) all I really wanted was a nice foot massage. For as long as it took me to get to my car, I wanted someone at home waiting for me to rub my feet and cuddle with me.
So to all those partner-free* ladies, when do you wish, if only for a second, that you had a significant other in your life? For those of you who are in relationships, when do you wish you were partner-free?
*single
The Closet House
3 years ago
5 comments:
oooooo......
....intrigue! i am soo looking forward to the response on this post...
i'll jump it off.
personally, it's those random moments like the one you described in your post i want a companion. *DISCLAIMER* some of these may sound too harsh and detached for some of my fellow bbgs or blog followers...
1. leaving dinner, the club, a social event or outing and going home alone...damn, i wish i was gonna get some tonight :(
2. when i want to go for a weekend getaway or do something impromptu.
3. when i am horny
4. when i am down (not pissed), but sad/upset. this is the fantasy part. i say that b/c most men can't deal with the emotional in real life anyways.
times i don't want a man:
1. during all of the circumstances NOT listed above, including...
2.when i am stressed. the LAST thing i need is someone else around asking questions, in my space, etc.
3. when i am dead-ass tired.
4. when there is work to be done.
5. after sex (which is essentially a repeat of #3 ;)..if done correctly!)
From the "in a relationship side" and I'll pretend Mr. is around full time:
I don't want it when:
1. i want to sleep in my bed...in ALL of my bed. alone. me and the comforter. and my Tide smelling sheets.
2. when i want to read, write or research and don't want to bother with anyone.
3. when i am planning travel and don't want to have to let someone else know where i am going or if they can come
4. when i see a particularly fine man and imagine....hmm....what if....
I'm not in a relationship and like Identity Crisis haven't been in a serious [long] one since 2002. DAYUM!
Anyway, I rarely want a mate. Even when people have wedding stories, I say oh, that's so cute and all that jazz, but really it's to make them feel better. If they knew I wasn't DYINg to be in their shoes right now, I fear they'd stop talking to me because they'd think I was anti-relationships or anti-marriage, when really I'm just anti-other-folks-in-my-business.
There are a couple of times when I want a significant other.
1. When I'm sick AND my moms out of town. (Otherwise, mom gets the job down)
2. Before, during and after music concerts. It's something about good music and a good man, that's just... correct.
On behalf of those who are "in transition" and by that I mean, not in a relationship yet not out of one either.....::sigh::...
I am not sure that I want "a man"... the biggest thing i feel like i am missing now is a best friend.
I realized sophomore year (thanks to good ole' SGH) that I like to live around people... not necessarily WITH them. Maybe it's the only-child thing rearing its head again, but I like, MY kitchen a certain way. I prefer MY furniture arranged in a way that suits me, and if I make a mess, then its MINE too and i don't need someone in the biz messing with MY timetable on taking care of it.
But as much as i balk at the idea of sharing my physical space, I find myself desiring a significant other most when i have good news to share. When something amazing happens in my life and I'm like, " Okay I already told my mom & dad, now who can i share this good with?!!!" I can't tell you how many times i've scrolled through my contacts trying to hunt down my girls (present company included) only to get voicemails... because everyone is out there handling their business. Which is how it is supposed to be!
But its nice to have that one person who you "officially" have the privilege to call and text incessantly when you need/want to. just because you were bored, or wanted to say "hi"
other than that, i kinda just want a wedding... hold the marriage. Wait i take that back. I DO want to get married, but i want it to be perfect, and since perfection is improbable, i'm good for now.
I think i would be less likely to tread water like i am now if i had more friends here with me in the city. I'm don't hate being single, its just when I'm single and alone that i hate.
but i also hate uneccessary drama, so its a toss up.
Wish I had a man...
1. Like T, before, during, and after music concerts. The last three concerts I went to were Raheem DeVaughn, Jill Scott, and Erykah Badu and going home to an empty house was the pits.
2. When I didn't make my bed and the sheets are cold and I want to cuddle.
3. When I'm downtown at night, the weather is nice, and I just want to walk in the park (or on the Lake).
4. When I have a gang of stuff (groceries, laundry, luggage) to carry up 3 flights of stairs.
5. When I find myself out with my parents and their friends (2 other long-time happily married couples).
Glad I don't have a man...
1. When I have work to be done. I hate when I'm deep into something (a paper, a proposal, a project, a design) and I have random comments/questions coming at me. Can't you see I'm busy?
2. When it's time to clean up. I hate cleaning, so I try to clean a little each day to avoid having to do massive cleaning on the wkends. but if there is a "he" around, that's double the dishes to clean, double the towels to wash, etc.
3. When there is nothing to drink. Do NOT drink the last of anything in my fridge unless you are replacing it. At least make some kool-aid.
4. When I just don't feel like talking. I've been living by myself so long that I enjoy sometimes not having to commnicate. I mean it's rare that it's ever completely silent unless I'm sleep (usually have a movie or music playing), but sometimes I just don't feel like talking.
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