I Miss You All...

individually and collectively.

I could use a real common room space with good food, drinks, chocolate chip cookies, and caramel cake. Until then, I'll be reaching out to each of you in some way, shape, or form in the coming weeks for random conversation and support. Hopefully I'll be able to provide some as well.

BTW - Who's going to see The Princess and the Frog this weekend?

Lil Wayne and Childhood Sexual Abuse

Full on trigger warning by the way. Please warned. And I say that not just for the topic and the disclosure...but the reaction in the room.

Hmmph on this and how it connects to BET Awards show and the 12 year olds gyrating to "F** Every Girl in the World"

Hmmph on this and how it connects to his whole discography.

Hmmph on how do we friggin deal with this in our community as though he is not an anomaly (although I did just call him out a bit). I.E. in every one of our families there is a Lil Wayne. Whether you know it or not.

Toma--from Freedom Fighter:

"...he was 1. forced/pressured/coerced by older men to have sex when he may not have been ready, 2. by a somewhat older (we presume) woman, who should also have known better but perhaps also was in danger (gang rape, men pressuring her to perform sexual acts). that is abuse. if it had been the other way around, for most, it would be very clear that it was abusive.

I can’t even imagine how that affects interactions with women. the message that this experience gives is: if you want something, you can have it. even if you take it without permission. 2. it’s ok to force/pressure someone into sex. 3. to never let a woman be more powerful than me again, I may have to use violence. he even equated the feelings he had about the experience to killing five people. it was violent. whether he explicitly says that or not..."

Vid here.

p.s. If you have read Push and seen Precious, hope you toss it into the Common Room

The Weiner Circle

don't go getting all excited, not that kind of weiner.

actually, i wish this was a post about that. now, i am no fan of weiners, but this has pretty much secured me never trying one in life. eva. especially from this establishment.

check out the video and be ready to share your thoughts, feelings, rants, etc about what you saw. i was saddened (i literally got teary), fearful, pissed and disgusted. i won't go into the historical, racial, sexist, and financial implications so deeply rooted here as you'll soon see for yourself.

grr..

oh, and if that vid's not enough, check out the "related" ones where you can see the milkshake demonstrated.

We Collect Inspriration: The Journey

this sunday, as with many sundays at all souls, i was moved/inspired by the sermon from the church's leaders but decided this one was worth sharing. i think all of us will find it poignant because of the transitions we currently find ourselves in. so, i share with you the message to appreciate the moment and enjoy your journey. instead of wondering what the end point will be, stop and take time to reflect on your current situation.

Rev. Lynngood informed the congregation we can create moments of gratitude for the present by asking ourselves four questions of affirmation:
1. there no place i'd rather be
2. there is nothing else i'd rather being doing
3. there is no one i'd rather be with
4. this, i will remember well

if you find yourself getting lost in the moment, take a little time to pause, reconnect and be grateful.

peace & blessings,

boogie

TOTALLY random

um, this is a total Boogie/ADD moment...

how sad is it i, at damn near 30, have to ask my little (wait, younger, she's got 2" on me) sister for help with make-up and hair? very. buying new eye-shadow took about 2 hours today and of course they are ALL in that N.A.G. (Neutral Ass Girl) family...i need help. Black Lilly knows my pain and has lived it second-hand by attempting to help me through my struggles. ugh.

Let's Discuss...

A Message to Black Women: Why You Shouldn’t Limit Yourself to Black Men

Fleacé Weaver

I was motivated to create my Free Your Mind seminars, which encourage Black women to date non-Black men, after listening to an impassioned friend—an attractive woman in her late 30s—lament an all too common refrain from Black women as young as 25. With a master's degree, an executive job, a mortgage in her name, and no children, she just couldn't understand why she was alone when she'd done everything "right." She wanted to find a nice Black guy and get married. She complained about being overlooked by Black men who pretended she didn't exist, or worse, the ones who quoted the unfortunate ratio of Black men to Black women with a smile like the cat who had swallowed the canary. By the time she finished explaining, she had tears in her eyes. And I was thinking: life is way too short to be unhappy and way too long if you are alone when you don't want to be.

Way to Put it Down Roland

J-Smooth on Polanski...

He pretty much spoke from my brain on this one. What do you think?

First Five Minutes of Princess and the Frog

No comment. But I'd love to read yours....



Via io9

We Collect Inspiration: Tresa Dunbar and Kerry Purcell

We haven't done this in awhile. And these women are FIERCE:

Principals Tresa Dunbar and Kerry Purcell are the subjects of the new documentary The Principal Story. The documentary explores how the two principals, Purcell with six years of experience and Dunbar with only two years, go about inspiring their staffs, their students and themselves to improve conditions and test results in their schools.

"If you want to turn around troubled schools, schools that are challenged, school that have a majority of low-income students, you really need strong leadership," said Tod Lending, the film's executive producer and co-director, who followed Dunbar and Purcell for a full school year. Lending received a grant from the Wallace Foundation to document the challenges faced by school principals in America.

At the two schools, at least 95 percent of students are at or below the poverty line. At the beginning of the documentary, each of the principals was leading a school that faced tremendous disciplinary problems, including poor attendance and failing test scores.

Listen to this story here. Seriously.

Out With the Old... In With the New

I've been struggling with what to do with my personal blog for a while. I've changed the theme, played with the colors and format, etc but I just wasn't happy with it. I thought of deleting it but have simply decided to retire it and start anew. I posted a final post on silence is sound with an explanation of my decision and an update on my "28 by 28." Check it out if you are interested. Please drop in on my new space occasionally. I value your comments and input. They are what kept me from deleting it altogether. I hope to make daily posts on whatever I fancy but I hope it will reflect my journey as I learn to live out Loud & In Living Color.

What Do You Call This?

I don't feel like arguing with stupid men on Facebook, so I came to the Common Room. Click the link for the story.

Man Wakes Up Ex-Girlfriend With Special Sauce

Yes, it is what you think it is. Some people think this is funny, like the friend who posted it. I think it's sexual assault. What do you think?

On second thought, I kinda do feel like arguing. I replied to the post because not doing so only perpetuates the rape culture.

TOTALLY RANDOM: the small joys of being single

cereal, chips-n-salsa or maybe a nectarine with a glass of wine for dinner. hell, why not all four?
combine that with no one asking you, "hey, can you pick something up? what are we having? should we go out for dinner?"

howabout being FLYY as hell and doing it for ya damn self?

ok, ok, one more...having unlimited options of who you spend your time with: him? nah, him...no wait, him. eh, maybe the girls. no wait, i don't want to see a damn person. ;)

anywho, i just had a moment.

lata, loves!

Chris Brown Revisited

I am watching his interview with Larry King and it's making me quite upset. I'm not going to comment on it any more than saying that it is clear that I won't see what I want to see from him any time soon. However, in my dream world, this is what would happen...

Chris would apologize and mean it. He would admit that he has a "problem" and get help for it. He would do it for his fans - all the kids that are looking up to him, all the little girls that adore him and all the grown ass women who jumped to his defense - for Rihanna, any future women in his life, his mom, and mostly for himself - or the scared little boy that he used to be. He would accept that it's not enough to just say "I'll never do that. I'll never hit a woman." He would also speak to men and young boys and encourage them to seek help to deal with what they saw and experienced in their homes. He would speak to women and girls and tell them that Rihanna didn't deserve what he did to her and that his actions can't and shouldn't be justified. He would tell them that they deserve better. He would encourage those in violent relationships to seek help or find a way out of a dangerous situation. He would say all of the things that he wanted someone to tell his mother. He would do his part to make sure that at least one other child doesn't go through what he did...

but we don't live in my perfect world. At the end of the day, I know he is just a young man who happens to be famous. However, he is also a young man who spoke out about how domestic violence affected him as a child and who has an opportunity to help other young girls and boys in the similar situations. He could be just what someone needs to break the cycle, if only he realized he was still caught up in it.

Happy Anniversary NOLA

Still swingin.

Outkast - idlewild blue (dont chu worry bout me)
by badeur17139

Real Talk PSA: Don't Front on the Sexy IT Guy

Sure, he may own one too many polo shirts, but ladies please don't hate on the hidden sexy of the quiet unassuming "techie"...you are gonna need someone to defragement you hard drive sooner or later... literally and euphamistically.

These Degrees...

We have all seen those articles about educated black women not being able to find a mate, well a black male mate. We've even debated them in almost every form of communication. However, I still can't get over the reaction of certain men when I tell them that I have (or was pursuing) a master's degree. I've gotten a few interesting reactions but none as startling as this one:

Last month, I was out celebrating a friend's birthday. The last bar closes and we are hanging around outside trying to figure out where we are heading next. People break off into their groups (another post) and I ended up talking to a guy who was waiting on his friend to close up the bar. We make normal small talk and appear to be hitting it off really well. I don't remember what we were talking about but I mention something about teaching. He got super excited about that for some reason. "Oh, you teach?! What do you teach?" I tell him that I used to teach but just recently completed my masters in counseling and was looking for work. He then goes into some crazy mumbling about how a bachelors was enough for him, especially because of the loans, how he can't find work in his field, and how the government is coming after him to pay back his loans and might even garnish his wages. I try offer some friendly suggestions but I'm thinking "For real, dude? TMI." At this point, the birthday girl's phone rings (of which I have possession for the safety of all parties) and allows me to exit this drama stage right.

Ladies and gentleman, what the hell? Does an advanced degree, or not having one, really come with all of that baggage? Does it matter that I must have at least a masters degree to work in my field? Men, is it important for you to have the same or more education than your significant other? Ladies, have you encountered men who are uncomfortable with your education? Has this played a part in your decision to pursue an advanced degree? Would you date a guy with less education than you?

Personally, I would like to think that it wouldn't matter to me what level of education a man had as long as we were able to have intelligent conversation and it wasn't an issue for him. However, all the guys that were not "on my level" education wise have made it an issue. Maybe its something I'm doing wrong but I'm proud of my education. I must admit, though, over the past year I've talked about my education a lot more than usual when first meeting people to explain why I didn't have a "job." I'm used to working, being independent and going to school. So this past year has been really uncomfortable, but my degree, and the pursuit of it, kept me warm.

I hope I didn't/don't sound like this though.

School Spirit Skit 2 - Kanye West

Supernova

MR HUDSON [FEAT KANYE WEST] - SUPERNOVA from MrHudson on Vimeo.

This song is my current On Repeat.

Maven Metaphor 8/21/09: the beginning of Real Talk PSA

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today about relationships. I'm not sure if it was my own financial crises pushing their way to the forefront of my consciousness as the conversation wore on, but something struck a chord with me. All of the sudden, I found myself able to articulate my thoughts about imbalanced relationships.

real talk PSA: you have no credit history. you're overdrawn. your account is inactive... please know that your emotional investments operate a lot like your financial ones: there are penalties for trying to take out more than you put in. --the Maven

In case you are wondering, My goal is to generate at least 365 of these bad boys...enough for our very own BBG inspirational "quote-a-day" calendar. Hallmark is making a killing on those bad boys... we can't let them corner the market!

So WHEN (not if) your life inspires a "real talk PSA," jot it down and post it. Feel free to source other BBGs world wide...just remember attribution is key! Only 364 to go! =)

the politics of marriage

So, i was privy to a situation between a husband and wife at the j-o-b today (which admittedly is foreign to me given my "single" status). Don't ask why "single" is in quotations, lol.

background: work is killer right now. my unit has some huge projects under-way. very stressful, but potentially fruitful and definitely exciting projects. we will be working late nights (8-10pm in office) and early mornings (6-7 am start times) for probably the next week or so.

characters: self. you all know me, so i won't get into heavy character descriptions here. young (recent college grad) staff assistant (SA) and her NEW, younger husband (SAH). SA & SAH are african-american, pretty devout Christians and fairly conservative in general. SA is ivy-educated, YES she is attractive (for the male readers) and generally speaking, a well-rounded girl. Within the confines of our office and unit, she rarely has an issue sharing her opinions and makes very good decisions.

setting: office. approaching 8 o'clock hour.

SAH calls (not the first time since i've been over-seeing final pieces of tonight's project). He's downstairs, waiting on wifey to buzz him up. i come down to let him in so SA can keep working. of course, he is disappointed to see not his lovely wife, but my slave-driving ass come down to greet him with a marginally warm "hello." (sorry folks, it's the best i can do on 4 hours sleep, deadlines and with someone else's man). ok, so he's peeved, i would be too.

we make small talk on the ride up to the top floor. (ok, i have to interject some judgmental, albeit descriptive things i noticed.) 1. he didn't wait for me to exit the elevator first, he got off and waited for me to let him past our secure office door. 2. he then walked through the door in front of me and proceeded to SA's office. So, yea, fail on chivalry. he comes into the office, i step out so they can have a moment to greet one another/small talk. shortly after i return to the office, SAH makes a point to say (i think more for me than for her), "hun, b/c you have to be back by 6am, i need you to be done, ready to go, by 9."

OF COURSE the kid peeped this something strong. ok. imma let that pass. my brain interpreted this comment 2 ways simultaneously: 1. he is concerned for her well-being and wants her to get a good night's rest and have some balance between work and personal life. 2. he is controlling and concerned about getting home and watching the T.O. show.

so SA and I are grinding it out. as time wears on, i watch him monitor the time and give "gentle" reminders. as 9 swiftly approaches, he begins to huff and puff, tap his foot and make far less "gentle" reminders such as, "babe, you know i love you, but you've got to make some decisions." Now again ya'll know me, so you can only imagine what I am thinking. Okay, in case you're wondering, it went a little something like this, "she has decided to get this work done so we don't loose our damn jobs."

9:02 p.m., SAH: "babe, i really love you and you know this, but you need to decide what makes a happy home." Ok. So at this point, i'm like, "this is real not cute for ANY of us." combined with, "oh no he didn't." and "oh wait, yes he did and i kinda respect it." and don't forget, "nigga, she is keeping home happy by making this money to support your ass!"

SA promptly turns to me and says, "um, boogie, i can't stay. i really have to get home. i can finish this in the morning when we get back." (note, she doesn't provide one of the more professional responses including, but not limited to: "i can get it to you later tonight", or "by 11 and i will email it" OR "oh, hun, i need to stay 20 minutes and finish a critical piece to ensure completion by 8 am tomorrow"). SA then quickly turns off laptop and packs it up before i can ask where she stands on completing the task.

My response was no where near, "girl, i know, it's late, we need to get out of here. rather, it went a like, "oh, well, where do we stand? in reviewing the pages you just gave me, we have some corrections to make before print tomorrow AM." i proceed to point them out to her, at the same time pointing out she needs to email me her latest draft so that I can continue working...TO GET THE JOB DONE.

now, i MUST acknowledge my single, heterosexual, liberal, feminist, independent,task/goal-oriented nature/persona. however, something about this entire situation rubbed me the WRONG FUCKING WAY! at the same time, i MUST acknowledge my single, never-married, no-children, young, task/goal-oriented status which limits my perspective on "what makes a happy home" between man and woman.

so, i need some feedback on what i witnessed. was this "typical?" (right, whatever THAT is...) did she abandon her job duties? would men expect their woman to leave work behind and come home to "make a happy home?" would women out there leave work (under a partner's command/request) to "make a happy home?" what makes a happy home? clear, shared expectations? demands? semi-reasonable requests on occasion?

again, i understand there are dynamics in play which i may not understand b/c i am have never been and am not currently married.

brothers, speak to me.

i know my ladies are gonna chime in.

More Insurgent Princessing

or some such. :) FTW.

More Happy: Pretty Wings

So...I know I clowned Maxwell when we were in college...but I'm older. And wiser.

And yeah, he can get it.

(Maybe it's the haircut and the whole confirmed-but-label-flipped-so-now-i'm-just-questionably gay thing; I think I lust for less than accessible men)

Besides the fact that this video is unbelievably erotic...happy, happies for all.


Maxwell - Pretty Wings (Official Music Video) - Click here for more blooper videos

Random Happies

Recipe for delicious thin crust pizza

Food is yum. And....

The Rebecca Project (covered by the Magnificent Michel Martin of Tell Me More):

Mothers who fall victim to drug abuse, domestic violence, and other life altering circumstances are often vulnerable and need help starting over. Regular parenting contributor Jolene Ivey is joined by Malika Saada Saar and Imani Walker to discuss how families can find paths to stability and safety. Saar and Walker are co-founders of The Rebecca Project for Human Rights

And I didn't see BIA2 but I heard about this story from T and am sharing it.

Voila.

Never Having Daughters

This is terrifying (from Curvature):

A brand new study on sex education (or a current lack of it) out of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveals an incredibly disturbing but not particularly surprising new number. Almost 10% of young women aged 18 to 24 reported that their first intercourse was involuntary.

This number matters a great deal, for a whole host of reasons. The first, of course, is that the rape of any woman matters, and 10% of any group of women being raped period is much, much too high. But it’s no secret that a rape can have a huge impact on a person’s future view of sexuality, and that view can be particularly affected if the abuse occurs early on. Not to mention that women who have been raped once are significantly more likely to be raped again.

X-Posted: Self Care: Revise, Revise, Revise

And what do we make of this?

Common Sense from Rachel Maddow

Always.
Speak up.
Speak out.
People will hear you.
And now

--when Pat Buchanan can rant on a reputable cable news channel in a way that puts the Ku Klux Klan promotional material to shame--

IS the time, if there ever was one.

Facebook Foolishness vol. 3, In response to: Chris Brown Apologizes...Facebook Style, nonetheless

Ok, so, IC beat me to this by a matter of mere minutes. Consider this post to be my answer to her question. Oh, before I go too far, it feels good to be back in CR! Missed Ya'll! Been too busy actin' a fool this summer to keep up with the past month or so's posts...
...'nuff of that...

so, i make it home from work, pee, walk ms. thang and then get on facebook and my other assortment of banned sites that i can't access during the regular work day.
while on the beloved, yet devlish facebook, i see a good friend of mine and someone i consider to be like fam post the status update you see below:









the other comments follow and as you see, the kid got a liiitle excited on this topic. so in the same spirit of IC, let me know...was his apology enough? are we too caught up in pop culture? what about misogynistic views (am i missing the boat? is isht like this okay now?) oh and lastly, "really?!" to the ppl who's identity has been protected by the genius of the Maven...you wanna play the holier-than-thou judgment game? REALLY?!

Chris Brown Apologizes...

Is this enough? What are your thoughts on the situation? Can you separate the man and the artist? Did we talk about this before?

Let's discuss.

TWIB on everything (except Gates because he just finished this vid today)

Cops n' Scholars???

this is definitely the WTF for the day...

Harvard professor Gates arrested at Cambridge home

July 20, 2009
By Tracy Jan, Globe Staff

"Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., one of the nation's pre-eminent African-American scholars, was arrested Thursday afternoon at his home by Cambridge police investigating a possible break-in. The incident raised concerns among some Harvard faculty that Gates was a victim of racial profiling...."

read the rest here.

Read the crazy police report HERE ( YOU MUST read the police report!)

My Comment over at JJP on Obama's speech to NAACP

Could not read all of the comments (good lawd, 226 on last count?) but I think that healthy critique makes the world goes around

That said, I was pretty underwhelmed. For the first time, his black preacher stylistics really fell flat to me and felt really contrived. I'm sad that I felt that way because I've NEVER felt that way before. And I think it is a sign o' the times if you will (and perhaps of audience expectations?)

And I don't EVER like the "blame the ghetto"/Cosby was right rhetoric. It is scarily disconnected from the reality that many, many black people here in the U.S. face and never goes down with enough critical assessment of institutionalized racism and other structures of oppression (gender, sexuality, etc. etc. etc.).

I haven't seen Pat acting a fool but if he or Chris Matthews said this speech was just for black folks they are dead wrong. This speech was especially pitched for whites in its fairly centrist rhetoric and its Executive Office talking points (health care, energy, education) as issues that we ALL face without talking about how these issues specifically impact the black community, or even the black and Latino community, (rising obesity, diabetes, hypertension, heart attacks, etc. in the black community because of inequal access to healthy food and doctors; pollution and environmental violence and gentrification in black neighborhoods; curriculum, teachers, healthy food, clean schools, safe schools, education that empowers young people, support for families and children) and what the NAACP can do about it.

I hope Obama gets his act together. But I guess as POTUS you can only do so much. And he said so in the first few minutes of his speech: Presidents got pushed to make the changes that we see today and are living with today. So our President needs to keep getting pushed. And this should be the forum where that happens and continues to happen--first black President or not.

Go to JJP and comment or discuss here.

DC Vigil for Lei Tyree Johnson

Ignore domestic violence as someone else's issue #youdothis.
Agitate and Conversate on the damage being done in your communities #idothis

Come out, come out, please! And RT/Repost this widely:

Because my writing has had to take precedent over other projects over the summer I haven’t been posting here as much as I would like. However I just received an email that bears posting:

On July 1, 2009, Lei Tyree Johnson with a male friend was shot and killed by her ex-boyfriend, who also attempted to suffocate her 12-year old son. A vigil honoring Johnson and the cause of Domestic Violence will be held on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 from 7pm-9pm at UDC-Denard Plaza. The event is co-sponsored by the Beta Iota Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta (Johnson crossed at Beta Iota in 2000) and the UDC Pan Hell. If you are in the DC/MD/VA area PLEASE come out and help take a stand against domestic violence.

Attire: Members of Fraternities and Sororities wear paraphernalia

Bring a white candle & a friend.

For further information please contact dcdelta4life@gmail.com

Those on twitter PLEASE tweet this. Those on facebook please share this. Those who are simply blog readers, please share this however you can. In times like these I fear this will become even more common than it (unfortunately) already is.

Facebook foolishness, vol. 2: the things that come up in my news feed

I am going to with hold any of my own personal commentary on this one for the time being. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. As usual, the names have been removed to ...well...i just figured it was in good taste to do so. Its one thing when you put your name on something, and another when said thing is reposted on a blog for public commentary. OH... but I want the commentary!!!! =)

The Republican Party needs a new hobby....

So I get it. Hating people of color, Hating women, Hating the GLBT community was cool for about 500 years. But its starting to get really old...

I am unsure as to why the Republican Party has never asked White Men if their race and class would play into their ability to make a JUST descision as a JUDGE!!!

Maven on the high seas...

in case you were wondering how i keep myself busy while I'm missing all of my girls..... sigh... oh the foolishness... The embedding specs are off since we shot in wideframe but you get the idea.....

Black and Brown Kids Barred from the Pool (Philly)

From Color of Change. The day camp paid the club $1900.00 to act a damn fool.

[ETA: The Field Negro, an excellent blogger in Philly, has his ear to the ground with an excellent breakdown/update of facts]

Dear friends,

Two weeks ago outside Philadelphia, sixty-five children from a summer camp tried to go swimming at a club their camp had a contract to use. Evidently, the club didn't know the kids were largely Black.

When the campers entered the pool, White parents took their kids out of the water, and the swimming club's staff asked the campers to leave. The next day, the club told the summer camp that their membership would be canceled and that they would refund their money. When asked why, the club's leader said the "kids would change the complexion ... and the atmosphere of the club."

A "Whites only" pool in 2009 should not be tolerated. The club's actions appear to be a violation of section 1981 of the Civil Rights Act. Whether or not any laws were violated, a "Whites only" pool should be something every American condemns.

I've just joined ColorOfChange.org in doing exactly that -- will you join me, and email your friends and family asking them to do the same? We're also calling on the Department of Justice to evaluate suing the facility under federal law. It takes just a moment to do both, here:

http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1766-899373

Obama is President but that doesn't mean that suddenly all is fine when it comes to race in America. This is a vivid reminder of what we know still lies beneath the surface.

We all know stories like this one -- similar incidents play out quietly every day in different communities across the country. The difference in this case is that folks got caught and there was a contract in place that makes for a potentially illegal act.

Standing up now isn't just about making things right for these kids in Philadelphia or bringing consequences to this swim club (called the Valley Swim Club). It's about creating a climate of accountability everywhere. If we can publicly shame the Valley Swim Club and hold them accountable for this incident, it will make others think twice before engaging in this kind of discrimination.

Please join me in condemning the Valley Swim Club's blatant discrimination and calling on the Justice Department to investigate whether they violated civil rights laws. And please ask your friends and family to do the same.

http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1766-899373

Thanks.

Here are some links to more info:

"Pool Boots Kids Who Might 'Change the Complexion,'" NBC Philadelphia, 07-08-09
http://bit.ly/90Zyr

"60 Black Kids Booted from Philly Pool For Being Black -- Speak Out," Jill Tubman at Jack and Jill Politics, 07-08-09
http://bit.ly/GkJTs

"Valley Swim Club: Day Two," Adam B at Daily Kos, 07-08-09
http://bit.ly/qbpSA

"Section 1981 Summary," Employment Law Information Network
http://www.elinfonet.com/1981sum.php

Update: Department of Justice takes the case on

What if Strawberry Shortcake Got Gangsta?

A new twist on movies-that-should-be-made (b.k.a. DisneyFail) that fits right in our world where princess kick bad guy ass and don't need a man to live happily ever after:

Strawberry Shortcake: The Fall Of Orange Blossom

Plot: Orange Blossom, once a dear friend of Strawberry Shortcake, moves in with the Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak and changes her name to Citrus Frost. All hell breaks loose when she tries to freeze her former fruit-friends into oblivion. Will Strawberry Shortcake save the day?

Tag Line: "Orange You Glad This Shortcake Can Kick Some Ass?"

From Jezebel. They've got Care Bears, She-Ra, Rainbrow Brite and JEM among others.

(Why was I so geeked to see JEM? And why hasn't a movie been made about her yet???? Come on!)

Just Because...

Black Girl Pain - Talib Kweli

Black Girl Pain

[Hook]

My mama said life would be this hard
Growin up days as a black girl scarred
In every way still we've come so far
They just know the name they don't know the pain
So please hold your heads up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself know I
Will carry forth til the day I die
They just know the name they don't know the pain black girl

[Talib Kweli]
I do it for the people, I do it for the love
I do it for the poet, I do it for the thug
This is for victory, and this is for the slaughter
I do it for my mother, I do it for my daughter
Promise I'll always love ya, I love to kiss and hug ya
You and your brother should be lookin out for one another
I'm so blessed, man, y'all the reason I got up
Somebody put his hands on you I'm gettin locked up
I'm not playin, that's the prayer I'm sayin for Diani
And if I die then she'll be protected by Amani
That's her bigger brother and I love the way he love her
She a girly-girl, she love to imitate her mother
But she a Gemini, so stay on the friendly side
She'll put that look on you, it's like somebody friend just died
My pretty black princess smell sweet like that incense
That you buy at the bookstore supporting black business
Teach her what black is; the fact is her parents are thorough
She four reading Cornrows by Camille Yarborough
I keep her hair braided, bought her a black Barbie
I keep her mind free; she ain't no black zombie
This is for Aisha, this is for Kashera
This is for Khadijah scared to look up in the mirror
I see the picture clearer thru the stain on the frame
She got a black girl name, she livin black girl pain
This is for Makeba, and for my mamacita
What's really good, ma? I'll be your promise-keeper
I see the picture clearer thru the stain on the frame
She got a black girl name, she livin black girl pain

[Hook]
My mama said life would be this hard
Growin up days as a black girl scarred
In every way still we've come so far
They just know the name they don't know the pain
So please hold your heads up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself know I
Will carry it forth til the day I die
They just know the name they don't know the pain black girl

[Jean Grae]
This is for Beatrice Bertha Benjamin who gave birth to
Tsidi Azeeda for Lavender Hill for Khayelitsha
ALTHLONE, Mitchell's Plain, Swazi girls I'm reppin for thee
Mannesburg, Guguletu where you'd just be blessed to get thru
For beauty shinin thru like the sun at the highest noon
From the top of the cable car at Table Mountain; I am you
Girls with the skyest blue of eyes and the darkest skin
For Cape Colored allied for realizing we're African
For all my cousins back home, the strength of mommy's backbone
The length of which she went for raising, sacrificing her own
The pain of not reflecting the range of our complexions
For rubber pellet scars on Auntie Elna's back I march
Fist raised caramel shinin in all our glory
For Mauritius, St, Helena; my blood is a million stories
Winnie for Joan and for Edie, for Norma, Leslie, Ndidi
For Auntie Betty, for Melanie; all the same family
Fiona, Jo Burg, complex of mixed girls
For surviving thru every lie they put into us now
The world is yours and I swear I will stand focused
Black girls, raise up your hands; the world should clap for us

[Hook]
My mama said life would be this hard
Growin up days as a black girl scarred
In every way still we've come so far
They just know the name they don't know the pain
So please hold your heads up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself know I
Will carry it forth til the day I die cos
They just know the name they don't know the pain black girl

The Black Music Post

I am still speechless but in my LIVID comments on the last post I started a list of black artists and some producers that were conspicuously absent from the BET awards show but are doing really interesting things. I just wanted a little bit of hope I guess. And a reminder that BET does not have the lock or even the final say on black creativity (even if they do have a responsibility, yes believe the hype, to invest in the potential and power of black music).

Off the top of my head (most are copied straight from the original comment):
Janelle Monae
J*Davey
Santigold
Melanie Fiona
Algebra
Kid Cudi
Hollyweerd
Jazmine Sullivan
Chrisette Michelle (new album is BANGIN! "Blame it on Me"? Hotness)
Charles Hamilton (the boy is crazy but his word flow IS nice)
The Cool Kids
Tyler Woods (new artist with 9th, peep him on YouTube)
Drake (when he isn't onstage with 12 year olds. He is new so I'm going to give him ONE more chance. Don't be a Dummy Drake. Hate to cut you off like Chris Breezy)
Erykah Badu (love all day)
Leela James
9th Wonder
88-keys
Foreign Exchange (and really anything Phonte or Little Brother does)

And the heavy hitters are at it:
Q-Tip has a recent album
Mos Def has a new album out (conspicuously absent from the awards, no?)
Rihanna has new stuff out
Jay-Z has new stuff out
Beyonce (of course)
Ciara (I mess with the music man, I really do)
Black Eyed Peas has a new album
Maxwell has a new album
Akon has stuff that I think is problematic but at least interesting. The song "Beautiful" really grew on me.

And if we happen to go international we've got:
Omar Sosa (He is FINE by the way)
Fanny
Ayo


Please add on in the comments.....

ETA: Corinne Bailey Rae; Estelle (to be fair, she was in attendance)

Deliberately Untitled Because I am Still Speechless

This post will be updated once J-Smooth gets into the conversation. I imagine he is still speechless too.

Damn Kis! Tell us how you really feel.

I'd be happy to once the memory of 12 year old girls dancing on stage while Lil Wayne talks about how many girls he wants to fuck that night in front of a billboard ad for the Army/McDonalds/Insurance company stops burning my eyeballs.

Miss Janet, you shouldn't even have sullied your shoes with that stage.

The King of Pop's Progressive Impact

"Music has long been a vehicle for social change and a bridge across the racial divide. Jackson's ability to reach the masses was uncanny, only rivaling that of international icons such as Jamaica's Bob Marley and Nigeria's Fela Kuti. As a child he brought African-American soul music to the mainstream and in his adulthood revolutionized pop music with an array of global influences in music and dance . Songs such as 'Man in the Mirror,' 'Black or White,' 'Earth Song,' and 'We are the World,' spawned many movements through its choruses and catchy hooks. Few artists mastered his ability to deliver a message and marketability."

Read the rest. Thoughts? (Post comments here but cc them on the site too!)

The Good Ol' Days: Life before FB

Lately, the subject of facebook* and relationships has been popping up a lot - "'such and such deleted me as a friend', 'Dang, they deleted me too'" "I'm talking to this new guy/girl. Should I add him/her as a friend on facebook?" and "whatchamajig changes her relationship status every other day." With all this drama going on, I can't help but reminisce on days when friendships and relationships were not dependent on a facebook status. It makes me sad that my little cousins might find out that their boyfriends have broken with them in a facebook update or feel that a relationship isn't real unless it's on facebook or something like this happens to them -

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from facebook requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

or something like this might happen to one of us-

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

Now there are some pros to having a public source of information about someone you're dating and don't know very well, initially. However, when you're basing your feelings off (or expressing your deepest feelings via) status updates and newsfeeds, it can become problematic. Then, if things don't work out as planned, you're left with the drama of reading about their new life everyday (or several times a day) or you avoid facebook altoghether for fear you'll come across their page. OR you are faced with the dreaded deletion and all of it's connotations and drama.

So, what are your thoughts? Do you facebook all your new boos, beaus, and friends of friends? Or has facebook become the new build-a-bear**?

*I say facebook because that's the only one I use but this could apply to myspace, tagged, twitter, blackplanet, ning, flickr, or any other site where people put too much of their business out into the world.

**Remember freshman year, "build-a-bear, destroy-a-relationship"?

Fallen Princesses

It is like we are psychic:

These works place Fairy Tale characters in modern day scenarios. In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The '...happily ever after' is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues.

The project was inspired by my observation of three-year-old girls, who were developing an interest in Disney's Fairy tales. As a new mother I have been able to get a close up look at the phenomenon of young girls fascinated with Princesses and their desire to dress up like them. The Disney versions almost always have sad beginning, with an overbearing female villain, and the end is predictably a happy one. The Prince usually saves the day and makes the victimized young beauty into a Princess.

Read the rest and browse the gallery: click above.

Delicious

Kinda quiet here in the Common Room.

Here's your regular dose of J Smoothie the Race Literate Cutie:



And some Music You Can't Get Out of Your Head:



(can you name all the supers in the video?)

peace

We Collect Inspiration: Sonia Sotomayor

b.k.a. "Sonia from the block":

Who am I? I am a “Newyorkrican.” For those of you on the West Coast who do not know what that term means: I am a born and bred New Yorker of Puerto Rican-born parents who came to the states during World War II.

Like many other immigrants to this great land, my parents came because of poverty and to attempt to find and secure a better life for themselves and the family that they hoped to have. They largely succeeded. For that, my brother and I are very grateful. The story of that success is what made me and what makes me the Latina that I am. The Latina side of my identity was forged and closely nurtured by my family through our shared experiences and traditions.

For me, a very special part of my being Latina is the mucho platos de arroz, gandoles y pernir - rice, beans and pork - that I have eaten at countless family holidays and special events. My Latina identity also includes, because of my particularly adventurous taste buds, morcilla, — pig intestines, patitas de cerdo con garbanzo — pigs’ feet with beans, and la lengua y orejas de cuchifrito, pigs’ tongue and ears. I bet the Mexican-Americans in this room are thinking that Puerto Ricans have unusual food tastes. Some of us, like me, do. Part of my Latina identity is the sound of merengue at all our family parties and the heart wrenching Spanish love songs that we enjoy. It is the memory of Saturday afternoon at the movies with my aunt and cousins watching Cantinflas, who is not Puerto Rican, but who was an icon Spanish comedian on par with Abbot and Costello of my generation. My Latina soul was nourished as I visited and played at my grandmother’s house with my cousins and extended family. They were my friends as I grew up. Being a Latina child was watching the adults playing dominos on Saturday night and us kids playing loteria, bingo, with my grandmother calling out the numbers which we marked on our cards with chick peas.

This is actually from Maegan la Mala Ortiz's blog post over at VivirLatino. Read the entire thing please--here.

I will admit some concern over her shadowy stance on abortion. Guess we will have to see how that one plays out...

We Collect Inspiration: Michelle Obama

Duh. We are so late on this.

As if we need a reason. But here is mine:

"And as I grew up and came to work in those places, right, and got to know them, I realized that the misunderstanding or the disconnect goes both ways — that folks outside of these communities have no idea what goes on within these institutions, and sometimes the people in the institutions have no real understanding of the people who live outside. You know, everybody is dealing in these misperceptions about one another because there is no bridge.

And I just feel like through the small things that we can do here at the White House, we can start exemplifying the importance of building those bridges, in real meaningful ways, so that when you come — when young people come here, they don't have to come here and be something they're not. They can come here and be who they are, and the folks here will listen. And we can go out and be ourselves and listen in their communities as well."

Read the rest of the interview with Time here.

Summer Reading Lists

Ok, ok. Back to the positivity.

Inspired by various other lists (Luis and the Summer Music Playlist, the Kitchen Table, those who are comping around me) I'm sending out this call for books (CFB) to read this summer.

I already have a few in mind:
Annette Gordon-Reed, The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family (which just got the Pulitzer)
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf's memoir This Child Will be Great
Mara and Diouf, ed. New Perspectives on Islam in Africa

At some point I will catch upon the L.A. Banks' Vampire Huntress series, start David Anthony Durham's Acacia series and finish Octavia Butler's Patternmaster quartet.

Add your summer books here as the spirit moves you.

If you are interested in doing some kind of virtual BBG book club, I am down. If you are interested in joining the Uhura black sci-fi/fantasy book club give Quirky Black Girls a yell.

Anonymous Letter to Your Haters

I know we deal in positivity in the Common Room but I HAD to re-post this. From a Facebook friend (who will remain anonymous unless they decide to make the claim):

Attention: Haters
Subject: Your Life

It occurred to me that last night (and most nights) you got dressed, put on make-up, cute clothes and stilettos (you looked really nice, btw) took a mode of transportation and somehow ended up in the same location with me, THEN made a conscious decision to sit on the wall (or stand in the middle of the floor, whatev), drinkless, not dancing and mean mugging me and my girls. I'm saddened that no one offered to buy you any drinks and based on that ugly face you were making indicating that you weren't having a good time, I'll assume you didn't budget properly to buy your own.

I feel so sorry for you since you clearly didn't have anywhere else to go (there was no cover, if you're weren't feeling it, you know you could've left right?) and you didn't have anything else to do except watch me and my peeps enjoy ourselves.

At the culmination of this memo, I'd like you to reevaluate your life. I'll dig the hole.

Don't act like you don't feel this way sometimes!!!!!! CLASSIC!

More Facebook Foolishness

So, my girl was telling about this private message that she received on fb from some guy she doesn't know but accepted his friend request a while ago, not really thinking about it. This dude posts a comment, sometimes several, to every status update she makes. She said that she never responds because she doesn't know him. Understood. Seems harmless enough, I guess. So, this weekend, she changed her relationship status to single and received the following message (on the same day):

How are you doing today? I'm doing fine. Just wanted you to know that I was thinking bout you. I hope we can become real good friends and more. I wish we could be boyfriend and girlfriend if you wanted too. You are a very sexy, beautiful woman. I love those sexy lips of yours. What are you doing for your birthday?

Um, WTF?!? Then she goes to his profile for my added amusement and I swear this dude fabricated his interests to attract women. His favorite movies are the movies we had on constant rotation in our common rooms. What dude says his favorite movies are Love Jones, Love and Basketball, and Brown Sugar and his favorite books are romance novels? I know I'm totally playing into the gender roles stererotypes but come on, man. And, if you're gonna do all of that, at least put up a half way decent picture?

So my question is how would you respond to such a message?

*All names have been omitted to protect the innocent and ignorant.*

Facebook fooliness.. (a story in screen captures)

So yesterday a single friend of mine posted an article about marriage on her facebook page. The article itself was cool, but as can be expected, the comments quickly deteriorated into the typical "Good Black men are hard to find" and "Y'all Black women are too picky," Below is the screen grab of the convo. I have blotted out the names to protect the ignorant. Notice the post before mine...

So pretty much, my intention was to a) "give a brotha a chance and b) maybe get some free dinner! (can't blame me for trying) Next thing I know I get this message in my personal inbox from the guy who posted before me... we'll call him E.



WTF!!!!! I think to myself...well you fit neither of my criteria... then there's not reason for me to call you...so i go on to bed and living my life...until i get this message tonight...read on...

i
So now I'm a little offended... okay... more than that, I'm starting to get pissy...so this is my reply...

"Hate to answer a question with a question... and i will try not to be combative... but dude... you don't know me and you just stepped to me with some real BS. you told me you were in a relationship, then gave me your number, then sent me an email entitled "offer" when i did not respond. What exactly were you offering me, E--? a chance to be your jump off? a chance to get you out of a complicated situation? a chance to get myself caught up in all of the unnecessary drama that black men and women embattle each other in? a chance to be "that girl" that brings hurt into another woman's life? it clearly wasn't an offer just to trade ideas...we could have done that on the wall post without needing a private message or things being complicated, or you passing a "litmus" test.

I'm grateful you were honest and up front, many people aren't even that up front. but dang really? And what makes it even more hurtful is that i asked my girl what your deal was and she told me exactly how successful and intelligent you are. I would have been just as happy talking to you as an interesting, non-romantic interest. But you took it to this other level where you frankly had no reason or business taking it.

Why did i have to establish the boundary? why didn't you? Because you have a Y chromosome? THAT is what frustrates me. So i will let our interaction be the response to your inquiry. Yes, it is difficult..because for some reason even seemingly intelligent men make the assumption that i just MIGHT be willing to pass on my standards and convictions for a compliment, or a hug, or a dinner or a good lay... and when they find out that i am a woman of substance (education and looks notwithstanding) they move on to something a little less challenging...often lesser quality, but something that makes it easy to dabble and let go when they are done. because they were never really interested in the substance that i had to offer.

do me a favor though, don't move on to the next thing until you properly finish with what you have on your plate now. And you should look at what you have now...it very well may be worth being actually COMMITTED to.

no animosity intended, i just wish brothers (of all race) didn't approach situations this way, and i wish even more that sistahs (of all races) wouldn't fall prey to the fear of loneliness to let them get away with it."

After sending this message of course, he's all upset and is like..."Oh it wasn't even like that, you jumped to a conclusion, I gave you my number so we could have a non-romantic discussion about the topic that was posted. Plus, as an intelligent woman you should know that I could just be meeting people people to help some of the single guys that I know find good women out there!" blah blah blah....

I just wanted to check with yal... do i look that stupid? Or could someone really be out of touch of how this whole thing could appear of base? ::sigh:: N**** aint ish, man....